Pt. 3
Well, that meeting was productive. Senator Hamilton saw the truth in my message. We discussed the nuances of the bill; I pointed out the positives, which greatly out weigh the negatives, and so forth. Basically, I got my way, so I’m pretty happy.
Now, I must get back to the White House before Donna starts racing people through the west wing. She came hopping into my office earlier as if she didn’t nearly DIE in an explosion a mere ten weeks ago, as if her leg doesn’t have a METAL ROD going through it. And to go off topic for just a second, I feel the need to mention that she sets off the metal detector now when we come into the building. It’s pretty entertaining. Security was of course informed of her situation, but they still have to wand her down. I, being the sensitive man that I am, have refrained as much as possible from making fun of her for this. Not completely, but as much as possible.
So, anyway, I was understandably alarmed when I saw her standing, with only her cane, in the doorway to my office, which is at least what, a half mile from her desk? The cane is to be used the two steps it takes her to get to the walker and no more. I should know; I’ve spoken with the doctors. Repeatedly.
Immediately, I felt the need to calmly discuss with Donna what her doctors have been telling her about pushing herself. That’s why I started out by saying, “What the hell are you doing?” in that voice of mine that shows I mean business. You know; I yelled. But then, I saw her face, and I don’t know how I knew, but I knew she didn’t want to have the conversation in front of Amy. Speaking of Amy, what the hell is she doing in the Capitol at 7:55 on a Wednesday night?
“Hello again J. How was your meeting?” Why can’t she just call me Josh? It’s not hard to remember.
“What are you doing here?” She didn’t follow me here, did she? I can see the headlines now. Deputy Chief of Staff Stalked By Psychotic Ex-Girlfriend.
“John asked me to stop by. He’s hoping we can start seeing each other again.”
Oh, yes. John Tandy. The one she dumped so she could make my life hell for a year. Why would he date her again, once he got rid of her? Oh, never mind. “Well, good luck with that.” I say as I practically run down the hall to get away from her.
“Wait. Where are you going?” Away from you.
“Back to the office.” I keep walking. Why is she following me?
“In a hurry?” Obviously.
“Yes. Donna’s waiting on me.”
“That’s her job, J.” I hate that. I absolutely hate the way she diminishes Donna. I stop and look at her.
“Actually, her job is to assist me, among other things, but you already know that.” You bitch.
“Of course. Donna’s amazing at her job,” she says sarcastically. “I’ve heard it all before. I’m just saying, she’s not going anywhere without you.”
“No she’s not, I’m her ride,” I say dismissively and start walking again.
“Her ride?”
Can’t you see I’m trying to get away from you? “Yes, her ride. You might not have noticed, but she’s injured. She can’t drive.”
“So you have to play chauffer?”
“No, I volunteered.”
“And how long do you have to be at her beck and call?”
“As long as she needs me to be.” Forever, I hope. Sometimes I picture Donna and me, 80 years old, bickering over whose turn it is to get the paper off the front step, bantering about the lack of social security, me bringing her coffee, her calling for the take-out. I see the two of us forever, doing what it is we do; it’s comforting. Ok, ok. I’m 80; she’s 68.
“She’s no idiot, J.” Hmm, that’s the biggest compliment Amy’s ever given Donna. “She’s going to play the almost died card as long as she gets away with it. If you let her, she’ll always find a reason to need you.”
“Well, I’ll always need her, so I guess we’ll be even. I’ve got to go. It was ni…bye.”
“Wait, my car’s at the White House. I’ll share a cab with you.”
What the hell? I stop, turn around and look directly in her eyes so she’s sure to get my message. “No.”
“No?”
“You heard me.” I turn and start walking again. There’s a cab at the bottom of the steps, so I jump in before I have to hear her bitch anymore and head off to the White House.
**********
CJ and I are still discussing sex when we hear Josh knock on the door at 8:25. She looks at me and laughs when he walks in, no doubt trying to, or maybe trying not to, picture him in bed. I, on the other hand, am quite used to picturing Josh in bed, so I come across un-phased.
“What’s so funny?” he asks me as he looks at her.
“We were just discussing what you must be like in bed.” This only makes CJ laugh harder. Josh looks, I don’t know, a cross between surprised, mortified, and intrigued.
“Really?”
I roll my eyes, you know, to keep up appearances. “No Josh, not really.”
“Oh.” Now the poor guy looks disappointed. “Because I’m quite something.” CJ laughs harder.
Again, I have to keep up appearances, so I say sarcastically, “I’m sure you are. How was your meeting?”
“Great! Well…good anyway.” Something happened.
“What happened?”
“Nothing important. How about you? How are the arts in education?” CJ has somehow managed to calm down and is watching us now.
“Extremely under-funded.”
“Are you ready to brief me?”
I look over at CJ and raise my eyebrows. She laughs again. “Yes, are we ready to go?”
“I checked in with Leo and got my messages from what’s her name. I’m ready if you are.” What’s her name is Louise. She was Josh’s temp while I was gone; now she’s an added addition to the operations staff. She’s kind of my assistant. I’m enjoying it.
“Ready. I’ll brief you over pizza.”
“Ok, let me grab our things. I’ll be right back for you,” he calls over his shoulder as he walks out of CJ’s office and heads down the hall.
As soon as he’s gone, CJ looks at me. “I can’t believe you told him what we were talking about!”
I smile. “I thought you’d like that. I do so enjoy making him wonder. You didn’t play it very cool though.”
“I couldn’t speak. I was afraid I’d laugh again.” CJ and I are on the same page again; the awkwardness is gone. It’s fun being trapped in here with her.
“You did laugh again.”
“I know. Imagine how bad it would have been if I’d spoken. How do you play it so cool?”
“Years of practice.”
She nods. “Right.”
**********
Josh comes for me a few minutes later. Security let him pull his car up to the entrance so I don’t have to walk so far, but it still takes a good 5-7 minutes to get me out of the building. Josh carries all of our things, complaining the whole time that real men don’t carry purses.
On the way to my place I decide to ask again about the meeting. “Josh, what went wrong in the meeting?”
He looks over at me, confused. “Nothing. The meeting went great. He was no match for me intellectually, of course. After I explained the bill in great detail…”
“He got sick of you and finally gave in so you’d leave?” You know, of course, that I don’t mean that stuff. I just have to keep his ego in check.
“Very funny. You’re spending too much time with CJ.”
“That’s your fault.”
“I’m not the one running laps in the west wing.”
“Running laps, I guess. You might be exaggerating, just a bit. Now, what happened in the meeting, Joshua? Back in CJ’s office, you hesitated.”
“Nothing.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I just ran into Amy on my way out.”
“Gardner?”
“The one and only.”
“Thank God for that.” He laughs. “Why was she there?” As if I don’t know.
“She was meeting with Tandy. Apparently he wants to start seeing her again.” Really?
“Why would someone want to date her twice?” He looks at me and I stifle a laugh. “Oh, sorry.”
“The second time wasn’t dating. It was…”
“Sex.” I’m still trying not to laugh.
“Yes.” See, to a man, that’s better. ‘I wouldn’t date that hussy; I’d just sleep with her.’ If a woman said that, she’d be a slut. Of course, Amy…
“So, what’d she want?”
“What didn’t she want?”
“Gross! I meant tonight Joshua!”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Oh, yuck! Now I’m picturing…crude.” I mean really, I enjoy picturing him in bed, but not with her.
“Ok, ok, I said I was sorry.” He does look sorry, but I’m not quite ready to let him off the hook.
“You should be. That’s just… yuck! I could discuss sex with Jack. Would you enjoy that?”
“No. No. No. I prefer to think you didn’t have sex with him.”
“We dated for two months.”
“Still.”
“Fine. I won’t discuss him; you won’t discuss her. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“So, what’d she want? Tonight?”
“I don’t know. Just to bug me I guess.”
“She wanted you to tell her not to date Tandy.”
“She did?”
“Yes. She wanted you to tell her to come back to you instead.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“How do you know that?”
“I’m a woman.”
“Well, Tandy can have her.”
“If he really wants her.”
“If he…you think she was lying?”
I try to sound shocked. “Amy? Never.”
“Cute.”
“Oh, I know.”
“So why was she there if she wasn’t really meeting with Tandy?”
“She followed you there.”
“She did?”
“Of course she did.”
“Why?”
“To feel out the situation. To see if you were harboring any feelings for her.”
“I think I nipped it.”
“Nipped it?”
“Nipped it. In the bud.”
“Nipped it in the bud?”
“It’s from Andy Griffith.”
“Ok. Whatever.”
“In Andy Griffith, Barney tells Andy he has to nip it; nip it in the bud.”
“I said ok.”
“I’m just saying.”
“Ok, got it. Did she say anything about how well I’m recovering?”
“What?”
“Amy.”
“Oh. I didn’t pay any attention to her.” Ok, what he actually said was ‘she said something alright, but I’m not about to tell you what it was, or you’ll commit murder tonight.’ Who does he think he’s talking to? I know him better than he knows himself.
“I see.”
“Don’t worry about her.”
“Josh. Amy hates me, I’m not going to let anything she says bother me.”
“Then why did you walk into my office on your cane today instead of your walker.”
“Well…”
“You were saying?”
“Ok, so she bothers me a little. I just…she acts so tough.”
“Tough? She wasn’t the only survivor of a car bomb ten weeks ago.”
“I know.”
“You don’t have anything to prove to her.”
“I know. She just thinks she’s so superior.”
“Amy or no Amy, you have to take care of yourself.”
“I know.”
We sit quietly for a few minutes, until I have to ask, “So, what’d she say about me?”
“Donna…” He’s whining. I secretly love it, but I never tell him that.
“Damsel in distress?”
“No.”
“Come on. Tell me. We’ll laugh about it.” Please, please, please tell me what she said.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Fine.” He pauses and glances at me while he drives. Then he puts on his best nonchalant voice. “She said if I let you, you’d always need me.”
“Oh.” I don’t really know what to say to that, so I just stare out my window and it gets very quiet in the car.
After a good three minutes, when we’re stopped at the next light, Josh quietly and tentatively says, “I told her that I’ll always need you, so that makes us even.”
I slowly turn my head and look at him, and then I smile. I know I look like a sixteen year old who just got asked to the prom by the star quarterback, when in fact Josh is nothing like a quarterback and he hasn’t asked me out, but I don’t care. Because when he sees me smile, he smiles back, a big dopey smile, and I’m a sucker for those dimples.
Of course, after a few precious seconds, the light turns green, his smile turns to a smirk, and he adds, “She also said it’s your job to wait on me.”
“Hand and foot I presume.”
“Naturally.”
“Yeah, well don’t hold your breath.”