Pt. 2
Josh left me in CJ’s office with the research for the arts in education bill, my blue note cards, and a bottle of water. He also moved my walker to the other side of the room so I couldn’t get up and “get into trouble” as he put it. Hopefully the water doesn’t make me have to use the restroom, because I’m basically trapped on this couch.
He left for his meeting on the Hill with strict instructions that I be able to brief him when he returns so we can, and let me quote him again, “get the hell out of here at a decent hour for once in our lives.” I chose not to mention that he wasn’t leaving for said meeting until 6:30. I didn’t want to burst his bubble.
“Hey Donna,” CJ said as she walked in and saw that Josh had forced me to take over her office.
“Sorry CJ, I can’t seem to stop him.” This has happened for at least an hour all three days that I’ve been back to work.
“That’s ok, what happened this time?” CJ’s been extremely nice to me since I made it back to the states. We both know why; we both choose not to mention it. And let me just say the conversation was not 100% her fault. I could have and should have handled it differently. I could have told her it was none of her business, I could have told her that I’d rather wait for the right guy than sleep with the wrong one, I could have said, ‘yes, I’m madly in love with my workaholic boss, what should I do?’ I could have chosen not to attack her relationship with that guy she was seeing. Instead, I chose to let it sit there for an hour and a half while the two of us sat in silence. What was that guy’s name anyway?
“He freaked out because I used my cane instead of my walked to go to his office. What’re you working on?”
She looks up from her computer screen. “Nothing. I’m playing solitaire. I’ve been on the same game for three days. I can’t give it up. It’s a disorder I have.”
“I’ve never known you to have a disorder like that.”
“It’s new. I gave up an old disorder. This one’s replacing it.”
“I see.” I’ve missed these conversations with CJ, where we just hang out. The two of us sit there and talk about nothing at all for a few more minutes until she gives up her game for the night and leans back in her chair, looking up at the ceiling.
“So, why’d you use the cane instead of the walker?”
I think about the answer I want to give. I don’t, let me reiterate that, don’t want to discuss any personal feelings I may or may not have about Josh. Ok, fine, have. Still, CJ hates Amy as much as I do. We’ve discussed several times our opinion that Amy’s role in the sisterhood is as saboteur. Maybe she’ll understand. “Amy was here.”
“Gardner?”
“Yes.”
“Didn’t she get permanently banned from the building?”
“I wish.”
“There’s got to be someone we can talk to about that.” She actually takes out her planner and makes a note. “What’d she want?”
“She wanted me to think that she and Josh have been seeing each other or at least talking again.”
This got CJ’s attention. She popped back up in her chair and looked at me. “You don’t think she wants to…not again?”
“I don’t know. CJ…” I pause. CJ and I can’t get personal about Josh.
“What?”
Can I say this to her? I do need a second opinion. “Can I say something? Something you might find appalling?”
“You’ve already mentioned Amy, how much more appalling can it get?”
I have to laugh; sometimes I forget I’m not the only one whose life was hell while Josh dated Amy. “Good point. Here goes. The only thing I can figure is…CJ, he must be absolutely incredible in bed. I can find no other explanation for it.”
She scrunches up her face, as if disgusted. “That is appalling.” She spends a full minute contemplating what I’ve said, then turns back to me. “Appalling, but correct. I think you’re right. There’s no other explanation.” We sit in silence for a minute. “Hmm…Josh Lyman, good in the sack, who’d of thought?”
Me, but I’m not going to say that out loud. “It seems at odd with the universe, I know.” She and I both know she didn’t buy that, but we have to keep up pretenses.
“So, Amy was here, flaunting her non-existent relationship with Josh, and you didn’t want to look weak in front of her. Correct?”
“She called me a damsel in distress, CJ. I couldn’t let that go unanswered.”
“You were wise my friend. She’s like a tiger. She smells fear; she seeks out the weak. You had to defend yourself and your territory; you had no choice. What else did you do?”
“I made a point of mentioning that Josh was in Germany, but didn’t mention that it was only one of three weeks.”
“Omission is not a lie. The point is that he dropped everything and went.” See, sometimes she and I are so alike that it’s scary.
“That was my reasoning. I also told her that Josh brought me work at home every night once I got back so he could check up on me.”
“That’s not a lie at all, that is why he brought you work.” Ok, why isn’t CJ giving me the ‘you and Josh can’t date’ lecture? Here we are, discussing the very thing we never discuss, and she’s telling me I was right to fight for my territory. We’ll just overlook the fact that Josh isn’t technically my territory to fight for.
“I know, but I made a point of making sure she knew. Then, they had a short meeting and I had to go in and get him when it was time to leave. I used my cane instead of my walker.”
“So you got exiled to my office while he’s on the Hill?”
“Yes.”
“He’s just worried.”
“I know.”
She looks at me for a long moment. We’re talking a good thirty seconds. Then she gets up and closes her door. “I mean it Donna. He went into some sort of shock when I told him about the explosion. He couldn’t even speak. He didn’t ask anything about it at all, he just whispered your name, like a question. When Andi called, all he cared about was whether you were ok, then he freaked out while we were waiting to meet with the President.”
“He worries about me; I worry about him. That’s what we do. It’s no big deal.” It’s actually a very big deal, and we both know it.
“Donna…” She’s waiting for me to reply, but I don’t want her to bring up what she’s about to bring up, so I just look down at my research.
“Donna…it occurs to me that when we were locked in here in May, I might have…”
“CJ…”
“It occurs to me that it might have sounded like I thought any feelings…of a…that I thought those feelings were one-sided.”
“CJ, we don’t need to talk about this. We shouldn’t talk about this.”
“I just want you to know that I didn’t think they were one-sided then, and I certainly don’t think that now.”
“Ok.”
“I just wanted you to know that.”
“Ok.”
“Of course, it’s none of my damn business anyway.”
I look up at her and smile. “Well, you’re a woman. We stick our noses into other people’s business; it’s what separates us from men. I did that too, you know.”
“I know. You were right.”
“You weren’t.”
“I wasn’t? How can that be?” She laughs. I start laughing too.
“The one night stand thing.”
“Bad idea?”
“Have you ever had good sex that was bad?”
“Bad good sex?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t know that was possible.”
“When the act is good, but it’s bad because you want it to be with someone else, and you feel like your cheating the whole time, even though your not…”
“Bad good sex?”
“Yes, because you are cheating. Not on him, but on yourself.”
“So what do you do?”
“Well, if the guy’s hot and has a British accent, and you’re in another country where sex doesn’t count as real sex, so you go ahead and suffer through the orgasm. Then, you wait till he goes to sleep, have a stiff drink and e-mail your boss.”
“I see.”
“That, my friend, is bad good sex.”
“Well, like you said, it’s a foreign country, it can’t come back to bite you in the end.”
“Unless, of course, the bad good sex watches you blow up and flies to Germany to make sure you’re ok.”
“No?” She looks as shocked as I felt when Colin walked in that door.
“Oh, yes.”
“And so…”
“They met.”
“Wow.”
“Yes.”
“Well, that explains it.”
“Explains what?”
“I thought for sure the two of you would be engaged by the time you got back here.”
I try to hide my shock at that statement. “That wouldn’t be very convenient for the administration, now would it?”
“The administration would deal.”
“Really?”
“Just put that in the back of your mind for anything that might come up in the future.”
“Uh, ok.”
“So you know what that means, don’t you?”
“What what means?”
“There’s no other explanation for a flight to Germany. You must be absolutely incredible in bed.”
“Well, that’s a given.”
“And if he’s incredible and you’re incredible…”
“Yes, I know.”