Pt. 17

So I’m just starting to wonder where Josh is when he throws my office door open so hard that it hits the opposite wall and knocks down a picture I just hung up the other day. I mean really, it’s 5:25 in the evening, and I talked to Sam at 8:15 this morning. What took him so long? For all he knows, I already spilled the beans to Donna.

Here’s the thing though. I can’t tell her that stuff. I know it goes against the sisterhood, but it would ruin the surprises Josh has in store for her. My original thought was to blab all, but then I got on the Chesapeake Bay Beach Club web site, and it’s really a stunning place to have the wedding. After that, I went to expedia.com. and checked out the five star Fairmont Kea Lani resort in Maui; gorgeous!!!!! And the fact that Josh has planned all this… well that’s the most amazing part. Let’s be realistic, Josh needs Donna to plan his trips to the dry cleaners. He’s helpless. Yet somehow, he planned this for her to surprise and show her how much he loves her. I can’t ruin it, sisterhood or not.

Now, back to the story. Josh is standing in the doorway to my office, panting and pretty much freaking out, which tells me he finally got a hold of Sam and came running full speed to my office from wherever he was, which I think was the hill. So now, the obvious question… how am I going to use this to my advantage? Oh yeah, and did he leave his car and Donna at the Capitol?

“You’re hanging that back up,” I say calmly, looking back down at this damn solitaire game. I’ve been on this game for four days and I can’t beat this damn computer. It’s rigged I tell you, rigged!

“Did you tell her?” He’s panting and sweating. It’s pretty gross. What’s even worse is the fact that I’m fairly certain the sight of him would turn on Donna right now, and that thought makes me nauseous.

This should be fun. “Tell who what?”

“CJ, don’t play dumb…” he says, putting his hands on his knees and leaning over, taking large gulps of air. “I know you talked to Sam.” Did he run here from the Capitol? It’s almost a hundred degrees out there and he’s wearing a suit.

“Well Josh, I don’t know who or what you’re talking about, but I can tell you that Donna and I are the best of friends and we like to share what we know with each other.”

He walks in the room and closes the door, still trying to catch his breath. “This is serious CJ.”

“So I gathered by my conversation with your accomplice. Pardon me, but I think a woman has the right to know if she’s getting married in less than six months.” Now this is a game I can win.

“So you told her?” He looks panicked.

I sigh. “No, not yet.”

“Thank God. CJ, you can’t tell her.”

“That’s not the way I see it.” This is fun.

He looks at me for several long moments, and I can tell he’s eyeing the opposition. “CJ, how many times have you told me I don’t deserve her? How many times have you told me that she shouldn’t have to run my life? How many times have you told me I should do nice things for her?”

Like he can get me with the romantic angle. Well yeah, he already did, but he doesn’t know that. “Nice try.”

He pauses again, contemplating his next move. “I can always bump up the plan right now and propose to her when I go back to the Capitol to pick up her and the car. How will an engagement six days into the relationship look?”

I nod, as if to say ‘Solid move, my worthy opponent.’ I get up and walk around to the front of my desk to where he’s standing. “I’ll have called her before you get there to do it.”

He raises his eyebrows. “I’ll call her and propose on the phone right now,” he says as he pulls his cell out of his pocket.

He wouldn’t be that tacky, right? “You’re bluffing, that would be the world’s worst proposal. Even you aren’t that bad.”

He takes a deep breath and grits his teeth at me, then puts the phone back in his clip. “CJ, how long do you think it will take me to blow the surprise on my own?”

What’s he getting at? “Another week, maybe two.”

“Wouldn’t you rather see me embarrass myself?” I look at him skeptically. “Think of it CJ. You know I’m going to spill it to the President on accident one day in senior staff. Imagine how embarrassed I’m going to be when I realize I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth. Can’t you picture me the next time we’re all out and I spill my guts after two measly beers? Or what about the next time Donna and I are… kissing… or whatever? And she asks then, do you think I’ll be able to keep the secret? Or what about when she uses her pout and gets it out of me? Now CJ, I know you don’t understand this, but I recently found out that she has a level five pout and now I’m spending Christmas in Wisconsin. It’s only a matter of time till I get the pout. Wouldn’t you get more enjoyment out of my humiliation than out of telling her?”

He has a very good point with this one. Watching a humiliated Josh is like eating chocolate. That’s why I haven’t told Charlie about Josh blow-drying Donna’s hair yet. I wanted to wait until Josh was around, so I could witness the embarrassment, it’s much better that way. “No deal, you can’t guarantee I’ll be there for it. If you could guarantee me seeing it, we’d have a deal. But you can’t. You could screw up anytime.”

He takes a deep breath. “Fine. What do you want, CJ?”

I squint my eyes at him. “What are you offering?”

He thinks for a minute. “A new outfit. You pick it out and give me the bill.”

“You think I would sell her out for an outfit?” I act mortified.

“The outfit of your choice, CJ.”

“And accessories?”

“Accessories?”

“A purse and jewelry to match.”

“Do you really need a purse and jewelry?”

“Do you really need me to keep my mouth shut?”

He grits his teeth at me again and runs his hand across his face. “Fine, accessories too.” He turns to leave.

“And shoes. Manolo Blahnik.”

“Ma-what? What are those?”

“Shoes, they cost about $500 a pair.”

“What? No way!”

“Well then…” I say reaching for my phone.

“Fine!” He screams, grabbing the phone from my hands and throwing it on my desk as if it were kryptonite. “A new outfit, with accessories, and Mo-whatever shoes.”

He opens the door and starts to walk out. “One more thing Josh.”

He turns back and hangs his head. “What?”

“I want to see this ring before you buy it.”

He chuckles a bit for the first time since he walked in here. “I’m not an idiot, CJ. I was going to narrow it down to five or six and then take you to help me make the final choice.”

“Now see, that should have been the first thing you mentioned. It would’ve been enough to convince me to keep my mouth shut.”

“What?” I love it when I can make him do the voice thing.

“Too late now,” I singsong. “I know what you’re willing to give.”

He shakes his head and leaves, closing the door behind him, and I’m left with a nagging thought; does he give in this easy when he’s negotiating legislation?

**********

Josh and I are at his place tonight. He fell asleep at my place last Wednesday, during Jaws, and hasn’t slept at home since. He thought he should check his mail, make sure nothing’s rotting in the kitchen, water his one plant, etc. You’ll be happy to hear that the BBQ sauce and Pepto-Bismol are both ok.

Josh has a great apartment. For one thing, it’s about three times the size of mine. It has a huge kitchen, and a spare bedroom that he uses as an office; there’s even a dining room. His building also has an elevator, which is helpful right now. It’s nice, that’s all I’m saying.

Why am I bringing this up, you ask? Well, Josh has spent the night at my place every night since we started dating. I’m just thinking it won’t be too long before we might want to consider moving in together and saving some money on rent. More specifically, saving me money on rent. I was hoping to get some answers on the move-in from CJ, but she hasn’t gotten in touch with Sam concerning the schedule. I think Josh might have gotten to him first and told him to avoid CJ's calls

Now you might think that I’m getting ahead of myself. I mean really, am I sure I want to live with Josh Lyman? Is there such a thing as too much Josh? For most human beings, yes. For me, no. See, I’ve seen him as bad as he gets, I’m not afraid of living with him. Josh, at his worst, is still the man of my…. whoa. What the hell is that? “Wow,” I say somewhat shaky as I walk into his bedroom. “That is one ugly comforter.” I mean, oh yuck. Who picked that out, Amy?

He comes up behind me, kissing my neck. “We can get a new one,” he mumbles, while continuing with the licking and biting going on.

I’m so caught up in what’s happening to my neck and… yes, there go his hands up the front of my shirt, that it takes me a minute to really grasp what he just said. I wonder if he even realizes the implications… never mind, I can’t think any more.

I take a deep breath and lean my head back, just letting Josh do his thing. Now I know we’ve discussed Josh’s amazing kissing abilities. We’ve also discussed his outstanding hand-in-hair/massaging technique. What we have not discussed, and this is important, is his unparalleled breast expertise. This man can make me feel things that…well, you’ve heard about Friday night’s orgasm.

See, he does this thing with his tongue, it’s kind of a swirl and it zero’s in on the target, if you know what I mean. And sometimes he licks and then blows cool air, which makes me shiver…well, everywhere. Also, there’s the matter of his teeth. To tell the truth, I’ve never been a fan of teeth on breast action. Let’s face it…that’s a sensitive area. You get some guy who’s a little teeth happy, and erotic pain suddenly turns into ‘get the hell off me’ pain. I mean... there’s a reason I’ve never had that area pierced, you know what I’m saying? Have you met this man, “Mr. Teeth?” I have. I won’t mention any names, but I will say this… he once tried to have me put in jail for perjury, and last week, he watched me knock over a display of Hershey’s candy bars and didn’t help me pick them up. Josh, however, has exceeded all expectations and calmed all fears in regards to the teeth on breast action. He does a scraping thing, and nibble thing, a thing where he traps…it… between his top teeth and lower lip. I’m a fan of all three.

Then there’s his palm and fingers. He rolls, he pinches, but not too hard, he brushes up against, and he massages. When he has a hand on one breast and his mouth on the other, well, I don’t even know what to pay attention to. It’s like an overloading of the senses, which is exactly what led to last Friday night’s…incident.

So, here I stand in Josh’s bedroom, trying desperately to keep my eyes closed so I don’t have to look at the comforter from hell, that I’m just gonna go ahead and blame on Amy, as Josh stands behind me with his tongue and teeth on my neck and his hands on my breasts, and I’ve got to tell you, it’s getting hard to stand.

**********

“Josh, my leg.” That came out as a moan, and for a second I have no idea what she’s talking about. Then I remember; bombing, hospital, two days of cane use.

“Right, sorry,” I mumble without moving or stopping in any way. She has me mesmerized; I can’t help it. When I do these things to her, she makes these little squeals and squeaks and moans; it drives me crazy. I lose all thought process.

Then I feel her shift her weight, and the moan turns into one of pain. I stand upright abruptly and help her to the bed. Then I kneel down in front of her and take her leg in my hands. “I’m sorry, are you ok?”

She must hear the worry in my voice, because she smiles one of those thousand watt smiles at me and puts her hand on my shoulder. And it occurs to me, I worry and she reassures me, that's what we do. “I’m ok, Josh. It was just starting to hurt a little. No harm done.”

“You’re sure?” I ask, running my hands lightly over her leg.

“I’m sure. I liked what you were doing so much that I barely noticed it,” she says, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

I start to play along. “Really, because I can continue that on the bed,” I say as I bring my head closer to hers and take her bottom lips between my teeth lightly.

We continue to make-out like that, her sitting on the bed, me kneeling between her legs for several more minutes. At first my knees hurt a bit, but then they go numb and the pain disappears. It takes me a while to realize that my hands are running up and down her thighs, and that the little squeaks and squawks are back. Hmm…maybe it’s time to move to the waist-down portion of the relationship.

The waist-down portion of a relationship is an important step. Men, you know what I’m talking about. This is an easy thing to mess-up. First of all, you have to make sure she wants and is ready for waist-down action to begin. Of course, you can’t ask her. ‘Excuse me, would it be ok if while rubbing my hands up and down your legs, I just kept going up… you know, to see what I might find?’ Not a great question to ask, am I right? But, you can’t wait so long that she has to ask you. ‘Excuse me, are you just planning on toying with me for the rest of our lives, or do you actually plan on bringing me some sort of pleasure?’ No man wants to be asked that question. Also, you need to know what you’re doing…there. You can’t just put your hand in a girl’s pants and expect it to find it’s own way. There are… buttons, and… zippers, and... well that's just getting there. Then, once you get there, there are... things, and... crevices, and… well you know, other parts. Plus, you have to be gentle, but you can’t be a pansy-ass. You need to be firm enough, but not painfully firm. You have to learn, and learn quickly, what this particular woman wants and likes, and you can’t assume that just because she makes noises, she likes what you’re doing. If you’re not doing it right, she might just want you out of there.

Really what you’re hoping for is a subtle hint from the woman that says ‘yes, you may enter’ as well as other subtle hints that you’re doing it correctly, like fingernails pressing into your shoulders, shallow breathing, the thrown-back head, the frantic can’t-get-enough-of-your-mouth kissing, or the glazed over eyes. If you’re not getting these signs, go to the local bookstore and do some research.

And there it is gentlemen; I just got my green light. It came in the form of her putting her hand on top of mine and guiding it higher than I was going while at the same time spreading her legs a little wider to make my journey a bit easier. So anyway, I’m going to need to concentrate here, I’m gonna have to let you go. We’ll discuss how it went at a later date.