Chapter 4
I’m not at all worried about tomorrow. A lesser man might be worried about Jon Bon Jovi putting the moves on his would-be/will-be girlfriend, but I know Donna and I know her type. And her type isn’t some guy in his mid-forties who thinks his bad hair is some sort of trade-mark. Some guy who’d just as soon be living on a bus out of a suitcase than in a home with a wife and kids. Some guy who thinks he’s important just because teenage girls scream his name.
Wait a minute…
Shit.
Ok, let me start over. I’m a little worried about tomorrow. Jon Bon Jovi’s going to be stumping with us for the day and it’s recently come to my attention that he might be Donna’s type.
It’s 18 DAKEF. 18 days since I inadvertently told Donna I didn’t want to have sex with her. I can still barely fathom doing such an asinine thing, but the lack of sex proves it. What’s worse is that even with all my work over the last 18 days, there’s been one kiss. One measly kiss. I so suck at this.
Not only that, but there are only three days until Election Day. We’ve got tomorrow with Jon, one more day, and then we’re there. Between the lack of sex, the election so close, and now the thought of Donna as one of Bon Jovi’s groupies, I’m tightly wound.
And to top if off, all of this plagues my mind while I’m in a meeting I’m supposed to be paying attention to.
“We want to work with the sun on the last day. Start east and head west.”
I nod. “Pennsylvania, Florida, Ohio,
“We’re in
“We need to come back,” Lou tells him.
“We should go to
I nod. “And
“We can’t get to eight places in one day,” Lester says.
“Fine,” I say sighing. “Cut out
He nods. “I’ll set it up.”
Lou leans back and stretches. “We done?”
“Yeah.”
She stands up. “9:30. I’m going to the bar. Anyone care to join me?” Lester and Edie agree, but Donna declines, claiming she’s tired. A minute later, we’re alone.
“Two more days,” she says with a sigh.
“Yeah.”
“Bon Jovi tomorrow.”
“Pff…”
She raises an eyebrow. “You have a problem with Jon Bon Jovi?”
“No.” Damn, that was almost squeak-like.
“Kay…”
“But I heard his last album flopped.”
“No you didn’t,” she scoffs.
I shrug non-committedly.
“Lou’s excited.”
“She is?” I ask skeptically. Lou, excited about a rock star? Yeah, right.
“It could be embarrassing.”
“Are you?”
“Excited to meet Bon Jovi?”
“I heard he’s an ass in person.”
She shakes her head. “No you didn’t.”
Again I shrug non-committedly. “Hungry?”
“Not really. You?”
“I could eat.”
“But you’re not hungry.”
“What’s that got to do with it?”
She shakes her head. “Josh…”
“Hey! I switched to Diet Coke!”
“That was a year ago!”
“Still…”
She chuckles and drops the subject. “You done for the night?”
“I was gonna…” I hold up the numbers and she ever so slightly shakes her head. Why would she… Holy crap, this is it!!! That was the key hand off!! “…leave these here. Right here on the table. Because I’m all done for the night.”
She smiles. “What do you know? I’m all done for the night too.” Key exchange successful!
“Really?” I ask, playing the part. “Maybe we should… do something together.”
She pretends to ponder this, putting a finger up to her lips. “I guess we could probably find something to do.”
At that, I stand up and walk to the door, holding it open for her. She grabs her bottle of water and I lead her out of the room. “I know! Let’s find something to do in my room.”
She shakes her head as we walk towards the elevator. “My room. People are less likely to interrupt… whatever we find to do there.”
“Yes, but my wallet’s in my room.”
She hits the elevator button and looks at me for just a second before she understands what I’m saying. “Your room it is then.”
It gets quiet and we wait in silence for the elevator for what seems like a decade.
“You’re fidgeting.”
I look over at her. “No I’m… yes I am.”
She smiles. “Yes.”
What’s going on with the elevator? Ten more seconds and I’m dragging her to the stairwell.
“I’m… anxious. To find something to do.”
This makes her smile again. “I can see that.”
It gets quiet again and I look up at the ceiling while she drinks from her water. “I’ve been practicing,” I tell her a century later while still waiting FOR THE ELEVATOR.
Now she’s choking on the water. Why is she choking on the water? There’s no choking allowed. We can’t have sex while she’s choking!
“You… you’ve been…”
“On my own. Are you ok?”
She stares at me for a long time with a very strange look on her face. “You’ve been… please say you didn’t just tell me that you…” she trails off and gestures to me.
“That I what?”
Her eyes widen and she looks down at my dick. I’ve been practicing alone? Oh shit! “No! Not that! The key thing. I’ve been practicing the key thing!”
“The key thing?”
“The key thing. Not the other thing. I don’t…” she holds a hand and I stop suddenly.
“You’ve been practicing the key thing?”
“In case you…”
“Oh.” She looks at me for another second and then we both stare straight ahead. Great, now it’s awkward. “Ok.”
“Yeah.”
Where’s the fucking elevator????????????????