ACT 4

INTERIOR - SAM'S OFFICE
WEDNESDAY, MIDNIGHT

"This looks really good," Sam praised as he perused the final copy of Bram's water standards bill. "Great work."

"Thanks," Bram said with a sigh of relief. "I'm glad it's done. Maybe now I can go back to working at my desk."

"Are you gonna disappear every time you get a chance to play point man on a project," Sam teased. "Because that could become a problem."

"No, it'll be easier after this," the younger man said resolutely. "This was my first time so I wanted to be sure it was perfect."

"Where have you been hiding anyway," Sam asked as he tucked the papers back into their folder.

"I found this room downstairs with a couple of couches and desk. Nice and quiet. Out of the way. No one bothers you there."

Sam smiled wistfully. "Is that still there?"

Bram completely missed Sam's familiarity with the room. "Yep. It's a great place to get some work done."

"I'll bet," Sam smiled.

"Speaking of which, I better go down there and clean up my notes and empty coffee cups. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Sam was lost in memories of another administration and time spent in the room in the basement as Bram turned around and left his office.

CUT TO:
INTERIOR - HALLWAY OUTSIDE THE BASEMENT ROOM

Bram made his way towards the room he had been working in for the last week, still basking in the glow of Sam's approval and praying Josh felt the same way. He opened the door, unaware of all that had gone on there during the Bartlet administration, and entered. He fumbled for the light switch and all of the sudden the room was awash in light.

And movement.

"What the hell???"

It took a minute for his mind to process the sight he saw before him. There...on the couch...the very couch he had been sitting on not twenty minutes ago, were Otto and Lou. They were.....

"OH MY GAWD!!!" Bram screeched as the Communications Director and her Deputy scrambled to grab their clothes.

"Bram..wait..." Otto grabbed a pair of pants, realized they weren't his and tossed them at Lou.

"OH MY GAWD!!!"

"Seriously. Stop screaming." Lou crouched behind the couch trying to hide from Bram's view.

"OH MY GAWD!!"

"BRAM!"

"OH MY GAWD!!!"

Before either Lou or Otto could get themselves dressed, Bram fled in horror.

CUT TO:
INTERIOR - OVAL OFFICE

"I'm exercising my walk in privileges," Helen said as she entered the room and closed the door behind her. "Ronna said you weren't busy."

"I'm always busy," Matt took mock offense. "I'm a very important man."

"So you say." Helen rolled her eyes as she crossed the room and plopped herself down in Matt's lap.

"I'm trying to get through some of these briefing memos Josh left for me while I wait for word on what happened in Kazakhstan."

"So you'll be late?"

"I'm sorry, honey. We're at such a critical juncture right now that something like this could plunge everything back into chaos. I just feel like I need to be here."

"I understand," Helen straightened his collar and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"But I'll be punished later," Matt guessed.

"Much later. First you have to pay for mocking my Christmas display."

Matt gulped.

"In fact, assuming this Kazakhstan thing gets straightened out before 7:30 am eastern tomorrow, Ronna is gonna clear a little room in your schedule so you can accompany Matt Lauer and me as we take a tour and I show him the lights."

"He-len," Matt whined, stretching her name out as far as he could.

"Don't whine," Helen checked his face for lipstick. "It won't work."

"I'll just tell Ronna..."

"Don't even try," she warned.

"Isn't there something else I can do? Some other penance I can pay?"

"There are lots more things for you to do. But then again you have lots to atone for."

"Like?"

"When my sister called to tell me Kelly was getting engaged this Christmas I had to listen to her tell me how sweet the proposal was going to be and didn't I wish I'd gotten that instead of an over the phone proposal."

Matt dropped his head. "I'll be up as soon as I can."

"Great. I'll start working on a list of things for you to do."

CUT TO:
INTERIOR - LESTER'S OFFICE

Bram barreled through the door without knocking, throwing both Lester and Annabeth for a loop.

"OH GAWD, OH GAWD, OH GAWD," he repeated over and over. "OH GAWD."

"What?? What happened," Lester asked, trying not to panic.

"OH GAWD," Bram repeated.

"What's going on," Annabeth said crossing the room and grabbing Bram by the arm.

"It's...I can't...It's just....OH GAWD!"

Bram crossed the room and dropped down on Lester's couch.

"Bram! Get a hold of yourself. What in the Hell is going on? Is it Kazakhstan? Is the news bad," Lester
demanded.

Bram took a deep breath and began waving his arms. "No, no no it's nothing like that."

"You had me scared," Annabeth placed on hand on her chest and handed him a bottle of water with the other.

"It's worse. Much worse," Bram said, his eyes wide and desperate.

"What? Are we being attacked? Has there been some natural disaster? What on earth is happening?" Lester's stress level shot through the roof.

Bram continued to mutter to himself in what sounded like foreign tongues as he rocked back and forth.

"This is ridiculous. I'm going to talk to Josh," Lester said, moving towards the door.

"No, wait. Don't get Josh involved." Bram tried to unsuccessfully to stand. Annabeth rubbed his shoulders as he collapsed back onto the couch.

"If it's something this big shouldn't Josh know?"

"No," Bram screamed. "We can't tell Josh."

"You've got two choices. Tell me right now or I'm going to Josh." Lester said anxiously.

"OK," Bram tried to compose himself. "Downstairs, in the basement, I've been working there because it's quiet."

"Right," Annabeth said as soothingly as she possibly could.

"Well...I finished the report...so I went down to clean up my workspace and I saw...I saw..."

"WHAT?" Lester and Annabeth asked in unison.

"Otto and Lou."

"Otto and Lou," Annabeth asked. "What about Otto and Lou?"

"They were.....together. Naked. Naked together," Bram started whimpering.

Before he could say anything more a very disheveled looking Otto and Lou entered the office. Bram pulled Annabeth in front of him like a human shield and buried his head in her back.

"I can explain," Lou said as Lester and Annabeth smirked at her and Bram continued hiding.

CUT TO:
INTERIOR - OVAL OFFICE

"Thanks for getting us that information, Mr. President." Matt sat at his desk talking on the speakerphone to the President of Kazakhstan while Sam and Josh stood on the other side listening. "Please let us know if we can be of any assistance."

"I certainly will." The voice on the phone replied.

"I'll talk to you soon, Sir."

"Good evening Mr. President."

Matt disconnected the call and sighed with relief. "A gas leak."

"Thank heavens," Sam said.

"I'll call the Russian and Chinese Ambassadors to give them to good news." Matt clapped his hands together.

"Before I forget, Ron called," Josh said. "They identified the white powder."

"Really?" Matt asked. "What was it?"

"Tide," Josh smirked.

"Tide? Like the laundry detergent?" Matt was incredulous.

"Exactly. Turns out the return address on the envelope was real and when the police went to question the "suspect" they found a little old lady who likes to write her grandchildren while she's doing her laundry."

"But why was it passing through the White House mail sub station....oh no...I'm not sure I want you to answer that."

Sam gave up trying to keep a straight face and decided to concentrate on hiding his laughter behind his hand.

Josh tried valiantly to school his features but failed. "It was addressed to a White House employee."

Matt closed his eyes. "Which one?"

"Bram Howard," Josh replied.

The President winced. "And the police rousted his grandmother?"

"I'm afraid so," Josh replied. "Don't worry, I'm on it."

"And with that," Matt shook his head, "I'm gonna head up to the Residence. I think Helen is in the mood to punish me."

Both Josh and Sam tried to hide their smiles.

"Not in the good way, boys. Not in the good way."

CUT TO:
INTERIOR - HALLWAY

"We're three wins for three today," Josh said as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"That doesn't happen very often," Sam smiled.

"Just often enough to keep us from fleeing the building in despair." Josh slapped Sam on the back.

"Arnie Vinick and Humphries have patched things up?"

"They're having a joint press conference tomorrow at noon. By the time the press is done with Kazakhstan and the anthrax scare his little blunder will barely be a blip on the radar."

"That's good. You know why, don't you?"

"Because Humphries really is a crotchety old coot," Josh guessed.

"Exactly."

"You're very wise."

"And that's why you need to listen to me on this proposal thing. Seriously, Josh, Donna is the kind of woman who can appreciate the magic and the wonder of nature. Make sure that's part of the proposal."

They reached the door to Lester's office and could hear chaos and yelling inside.

CUT TO:
INTERIOR - LESTER'S OFFICE, CONTINUOUS

"What in the Hell is going on in here," Josh thundered as he and Sam entered Lester's office. "Is that about Bram's grandmother?"

Bram's head shot out from behind Annabeth. "What about my grandmother?"

At that moment it crossed Josh's mind that Ron may not have had a chance to talk to the younger man yet. "It's nothing serious. Just a procedural matter. Make sure you stop at the Secret Service office before you leave tonight, and tell Margaret you need five minutes with me first thing in the morning."

The room fell silent and all eyes were on the Chief of Staff. Except for Bram's. He had returned his face to the safety of Annabeth's back.

"It's nothing," Lou said as Lester and Annabeth tried not to laugh and Otto tried to wipe the smirk off his face.

"What happened to you?" Josh demanded. "You look like you just came out of a wind tunnel." He turned to Otto. "And what are you smiling about?"

"Listen, Josh..." Lou started.

"No, you listen. All of you. I don't care what's going on in here. I just know that I want it all worked out before staff tomorrow morning. The explosion in Kazakhstan was a gas leak. The anthrax was laundry detergent. Lester, let the press know everything is under control."

"Will do," Lester said as he straightened his tie and headed to the pressroom to brief, actually happier to face the tired and cranky press than to stay in the insanity that had descended upon his office.

"Thanks for helping out today, Annabeth," Josh said. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem, Josh."

"As for the rest of you-it's been a long day. Get to bed."