Under other circumstances, Donna's stunned expression would have made him laugh. "You want me to tell the First Lady that her husband's been accused of fathering another woman's child?"

"Breaking bad news is all part of the exciting life of a chief of staff," he said with a smirk.

Donna put her hands on her hips and gave him a look of mock indignation. "You could have mentioned that before you encouraged me to take the job."

He grinned at her, feeling suddenly energetic and eager to attack the problem. "Welcome to the big
leagues, Ms. Moss."

As she grabbed an armful of clothes and headed toward the bathroom, Donna called back over her shoulder, "Why does it feel like you're the coach and I'm the rookie you're sending in to take one in the head just to get on base?"

"Oh, you and I passed first base some time ago," Josh replied.

Still grinning, he sat back down on the bed and reached for the phone. Sam answered on the first
ring. "I need you at the office right now," Josh told his deputy. "We've got a problem."

CUT TO:
INT. SAM AND LAUREN'S APT.
WEDNESDAY, 10:30 P.M.

Lauren sat on the edge of the bed, her feet dangling over the side. With her hair pulled back in a scrunci and her usual designer suit abandoned in favor of an USC t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, she looked more like a college student than a high-powered attorney. Setting the bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream she and Sam had been sharing on the nightstand, Lauren admitted to herself that their quiet evening at home wasn't going to happen.

"The White House has not issued any statement regarding the Morales matter," the Fox News anchor was saying. "However, according to an account on the Drudge Report..."

Sam paused in the middle of putting on his tie. "Oh, right, the Drudge Report," he said. "Now there's a
reliable source. I swear I am going telling Lester to take this guy's press credentials away. If he wants news about the White House, he can just keep getting it from his internet cronies."

Lauren turned the TV off, moved to Sam's side and took over fastening his tie. "When did you become the guy who issues ultimatums to the press?" she asked. "The Sam Seaborn I fell in love with was so easygoing."

Sam hugged his fiance. "Hey, it's not like I've suddenly turned into another person."

"No," Lauren replied, "it's been subtle. It's just been one little thing after another—not wanting to take any time off from work, coming home so wound up that you have trouble sleeping." She waved a hand in the direction of the television screen. "Yelling at TV reporters."

"'Yelling' might be an overstatement."

"That's not the point, Sam." Lauren moved toward the closet, reaching for Sam's jacket. "Look," she said as she handed it to him, "I understood when we moved here that it meant making some sacrifices; I get that. But I knew how you missed Washington. I could tell from the way you used to talk about Toby and CJ and Josh. I could tell by how torn up you were when Leo McGarry died. I know that politics is an important part of your life."

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem is that I don't like the changes I'm seeing in you," Lauren explained. "You're not as happy as you were back in California. You're more driven. I need to be with someone who has a sense of balance in his life, someone who can actually relax for one night and watch Humphrey Bogart movies instead of cable news."

Sam reached out for her. "Lauren—"

"Look," she said, waving him away, "don't worry about it. I've been concerned about some stuff, and I just picked the wrong time to bring it up. We can talk about this later."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said. "We can talk about it tomorrow."

She couldn't help but reflect on the fact that he was out the door before she'd finished the sentence.

CUT TO:
INT. FIRST FAMILY'S RESIDENCE
WEDNESDAY, 11 P.M.

"You know, Glenn, earlier this evening, Sen. Chris Carrick pointed out that Matt Santos likes to compare himself to John Kennedy," Jane Braun told a CNN reporter.

The two couples watching television in the living room of the Residence stared at the screen with expressions of indignation and concern. Donna, seated on the sofa next to Helen Santos, mentally composed the statement she and Annabeth would be called on to issue on behalf of the First Lady. Standing next to Donna, one hand resting on the arm of the sofa, Josh simultaneously evaluated the Republican response to the story and the First Couple's reaction to the charges. He hadn't been sure what to make of the fact that neither Matt nor Helen Santos seemed surprised by the allegations. He was relieved, however, that Helen clearly was supportive of her husband—hardly the response he'd expect if she believed her husband had been unfaithful.

"'Likes to compare'?" Helen repeated, shaking her head. "Matt's never compared himself to Kennedy. That's not even what Carrick said."

"Yeah, I think we've just discovered the latest Republican talking point," Josh responded.

Matt Santos, sitting on the armchair facing the TV, nodded glumly. He held up one hand, indicating that the others should stop talking. "I want to see where she's going with this," he explained before turning his attention back to CNN.

The reporter, it seemed, was smiling in agreement with Jane Braun. "As I recall," he told her, "the Senator made a remark about Matt Santos' notorious penchant for football."

Helen Santos was the only one who dared interrupt the program her husband was watching so intently. "One game on the front lawn hardly qualifies as a notorious penchant."

Judging from the smile Jane Braun was flashing, however, she must have been pleased with the reporter's characterization. "I'm sure Senator Carrick didn't mean it this way, but Matt Santos definitely seems to be emulating JFK's reputation as a lothario."

"I think we've all heard enough," Helen Santos announced. She stood up and switched off the television. Sitting back down, she turned to her husband. "I'm going to kill your brother," she remarked conversationally.

Josh and Donna exchanged confused looks.

"You might as well know the whole story," Helen told them. "It's not JFK here who's the lothario. Yes, we've been helping out with Anita's child support, but that's because Jorge can't be counted on to take responsibility."

"So the President's brother had an affair with Ms. Morales?" Donna asked.

Helen nodded.

Donna's face lit up at the notion that the crisis had been averted, but Josh wasn't sure they were out of the woods. He turned his attention to the President. "I'm sorry to ask this, sir, but is there any proof that you're not the father?"

The President shook his head. "Considering that I never slept with Anita, I didn't think a paternity
test was necessary. And before you ask—no, I'm not taking one now."

"I wouldn't expect you to, sir," Josh replied. "It's beneath the office of the President."

"So what do we do now?" Helen asked.

"We have several options," Josh said. "Lester can issue a blanket denial—"

"Which no one will believe," Donna pointed out. Helen looked at her in surprise, and Donna waved a hand in Josh's general direction. "He told me to play bad cop. He figured that the President is less likely to yell at me."

For the first time that evening, Matt Santos smiled. "Smart man," he replied.

"Still, sir," Donna continued, "the unpleasant fact is that many people will believe the worst if they're not given proof to the contrary."

"The best thing would be for Anita Morales to tell her story to the press," Josh said. "Always assuming that she's willing to confirm your story." After all, there are a number of tabloids that would pay her to say she slept with you."

Helen turned to her chief of staff. "I thought he was the good cop," she said to Donna.

Donna shrugged. "It's a new experience for him. He's still getting the hang of it."

Santos, however, did not seem as amused as his wife. "Are you suggesting that I'm lying?"

"No, sir," Josh assured him. "I believe you. It's just that I don't know Anita Morales, but I do know that there are a number of tabloids that would pay her say she slept with you."

Helen moved to her husband's side and took his hand. "Even if Anita explained the situation," she asked, "would anyone believe her?"

"Some people would," Donna replied. "And at least we'd have her first-hand testimony to run against the allegations."

The President shook his head. "I don't see any reason to invade Anita's privacy just because she had the misfortune to fall for my brother."

"Due respect, sir," Josh said. "Ms. Morales' privacy is already being invaded."

"If I were her," Donna added, "I would at least want to defend myself from the accusations that I'd slept with a married man."

"There are ways to make the truth public without involving Ms. Morales," Josh pointed out.

"Like what?" Helen asked.

"We have someone—Lester or Annabeth, probably—tell a reporter the full story under the condition that the statement not be attributed to anyone in the White House," Josh explained. "Our story starts picking up momentum just like the Drudge Report item. It's not definitive proof, of course, but it will get other reporters investigating and at least it won't just be a Republican hatchet job."

Santos, however, looked resolved. "Lester can state that any rumors about my infidelity are baseless. He's not to say anything about my brother or Anita. And he certainly is not allowed to lie about the payments I made to Anita." At Helen and Donna's exchange of looks, he added, "That goes for Annabeth as well."

CUT TO:
INT. CHIEF OF STAFF'S OFFICE
WEDNESDAY, 11:15 P.M.

"My money's on Carrick," Otto said. "After that JFK crack—"

"I'm telling you, it's this Morales woman," Lester replied. "She has the most to gain from the whole thing."

Seated between Otto and Lester on the sofa, Lou reflected that if she spent one more minute twisting her head back and forth between the two debaters, she'd have a bad case of whiplash. "Oh, lord," she moaned, "would you two forget about who gave Drudge the damn story?" She moved to sit behind Josh's desk. "We need a statement. Now."

Sitting across from Otto and Lester, Sam and Annabeth nodded in agreement. "My phone's been ringing off the hook," Annabeth said. "Even if we can't make a final decision until Josh gets here, we can at least come up with a first draft."

"You want us to come up with some options to give Josh?" Otto asked. "Plan one, plan b, that kind of
thing?"

The yawn that Lou had been unsuccessful at stifling suddenly turned into a laugh. "One and b?" she asked.

Otto shrugged. "You know what I mean."

"Okay," Lou said, "how about plan one is 'there is no truth to the allegation.' Plan b is a plain no comment. Plans two and c are versions of mea culpa. You know, just in case it's true."

And there it was, Lou thought. She'd mentioned the elephant in the room. Everyone looked away from each other and fell silent as they contemplated what would happen if it could be proved that the nation's vital new president was, in fact, just a little *too* vital.

Luckily, before the silence could get even more awkward, Josh and Donna entered the room. Everyone started asking questions at once.

"Was he angry?"

"What about Mrs. Santos?"

"Does he know who leaked the story? Was it Carrick?"

"Forget that. Is it true?"

"Would you all please be quiet?" Josh yelled.

Once again, the room fell silent.

Donna took a seat between Sam and Annabeth. Josh walked to his desk. He stood there for a moment, staring at Lou. Lou craned her neck up at him and raised her eyebrows. Folding his arms, Josh said, "Did someone promote you, Louise?"

Lou grudgingly gave up the chair and moved back to the sofa. Nudging Lester, she forced him to move so she didn't have to sit in the middle of another debate.

"What's going on?" Donna asked Annabeth.

"We were debating who leaked the story," the First Lady's press secretary replied. "Then the question of whether the story is true came up and, well, that was kind of a conversation stopper."

"It's not true," Josh said. He had that tone in his voice, Lou noticed, the one he'd no doubt learned from Leo McGarry—the one that made it clear no argument would be tolerated. "As for who leaked the story," he continued, "don't even try going there. Once you start calculating who knew what you've implicated everyone from the bank teller who cashed the checks for Anita Morales to the President's second-cousin-once-removed. Our job is to get in front of this story before it gains any more momentum."

Lou nodded. "Even a non-denial denial is better than no comment."

"It won't be a non-denial denial," Josh insisted. "The President did not have sex with Anita Morales.
He did not father her child. Make sure that message gets out."

Maybe it was because Sam was a lawyer, Lou thought, or maybe it was just because he knew Josh so well. Either way, Sam was the one who immediately understood what Josh wasn't saying.

"So he did write the checks?" Sam asked.

"Yes, he wrote the checks," Josh admitted. He turned to Lester. "The President wants to make it clear that you're not to lie about that. I, on the other hand, am making it clear that you're to find a way around answering that part of the question."

"Josh." Sam shook his head. "You can't believe that will work. Do you think no one will notice that we
aren't answering questions about the check?"

Josh shrugged. "CJ could have managed it."

"Not this early in the administration she couldn't have," Sam replied, "and even on her best day, she couldn't have danced around it indefinitely."

Josh ran a hand through his hair, his frustration obvious. "I know that Sam," he said. "But for now, that's the way we have to play it." He turned to Lester. "You're just going to have to do your best to
keep the press from asking about the checks until I can talk to the President again."

Lester sighed. "Someone explain to me again why taking this job was a good idea."