Following Through

Rating: R

Summary: Sequel to “The Announcement”

Author’s Notes: Post-ep for "2162 Votes." You will be completely and utterly lost if you haven't read "The Announcement." 

What? What? WHAT?

Shock. That can really be the only way to describe it. I’m sure my mouth is open; my tongue might even be hanging out. I can’t believe he… and then… and now… what the hell is going on?

He’s not looking at me. When one says that, shouldn’t they then look at the person they said it about? Shouldn’t he be wondering if I even want that? Do I even want that? Oh, who the hell am I kidding, of course I want it.

But still… he walks in here, hands me a beer and sits next to me, and then makes that announcement like it’s no big deal. Like it’s expected. Like it’s completely normal for a person to stand up and say something like that. I don’t think I’m breathing. The room’s starting to go out of focus.

Ravish. He said ravish. I can’t remember it word for word, but I distinctly remember the word ravish. Has he considered the ramifications of ravishing my body? The freckles, the scars, the ticklish spots, the hot spots, that spot behind my right ear… is he gonna ravish that part too, because there’s no use ravishing if he doesn’t ravish that part. And where the hell’s the nearest wall, anyway?

Oh no… what am I wearing underneath this… whatever I’m wearing on top of whatever I’m wearing underneath. I could look down to see what I’m wearing on top, but that would mean focusing, and right now everything’s blurry. And hazy. Do those words mean the same thing? Why do I care about that right now?

So, what am I wearing underneath? Certainly nothing sexy, nothing lacy, no thong. I hate thongs and only wear them with outfits that require them, so I’m sure I’m not wearing one now. But hopefully my bra and underwear at least match, even if they’re just plain old cotton white. And do I have hose on? They’d just get in the way of the ravishing. If I’m wearing hose, they aren’t going to make it through the night in tact; Josh is very impatient. And tonight I might be even less so.

A blur walks past me. Oh Lord, people are really leaving. They’re taking him seriously. Should I stand up? I should stand up, right? He can’t push me against a wall if I’m sitting down, can he? I don’t know if I can stand, I’m pretty sure my legs are shaking. Oh no, my legs are shaking, how can I stand there while he does the ravishing if I can’t… his waist. I’ll wrap them around his waist.

Hey, wait a minute. Do I get to ravish back? It seems only fair that I should get to ravish back. I mean, if he gets to ravish me… oh, how long I’ve waited to do that... My hands on his arms with no shirt barrier, dipping my tongue in his dimples, long kisses along that beautiful scar that proves he came back to me, following the trail of hair that I bet goes from his belly button down to his… I might faint.

I bet money he hasn’t showered today, but I'm not gonna dwell on it. I think he shaved, that's enough. I remember thinking he looked really tired but otherwise good when he walked in here… what, a minute and a half ago? I remember not recognizing his shirt and thinking it was kind of sad that he’d gone shopping without me making him or him handing me his credit card and telling me to go.

Ravish… I’m sorry, but my mind keeps falling back on that word. Josh Lyman is going to ravish my body and I’m going to ravish his. For the first time in too long, I’m not going to have to concentrate, not going to have to remind myself not to shout the wrong name out, not going to have to close my eyes and pretend. I’m going to make love for the first time since Dr. Freeride to quite possibility the only man I’ve ever really loved.

Make love… ok, maybe not this first time. He said the nearest wall, I’m almost sure of it. I’m not sure it’s possible to make love against a wall. That sounds more like… I’ll say sex instead of something more vulgar. But after that, we’ll go up…

Wait a minute. Will we? This isn’t a one-time thing, right? There will be a second, third, three hundredth time, right? I mean, not tonight, obviously. Not the three hundredth anyway. Surely a second, hopefully a third, but he does look tired, I remember thinking that when he walked…

Snap out of it. What you’re thinking about Donnatella, is whether or not this is a one-night stand. Josh wouldn’t do that to you, right? I mean if that were all it was ever going to be, it would’ve been that years ago, right? Right? RIGHT?

I feel a hand pulling me out of my seat, has it been fifteen seconds already? I feel myself standing, and I know I need to focus. Focus, Donna, focus. Ahh… there he is. He’s looking at me now. He looks beautiful. I’ve missed his eyes so much.

“Donna?” I hear him say in a soft low voice.

“Is this a one night stand?” See, I didn’t mean to blurt that out like that, but it just kind of spilled from my lips.

“What?”

“Is this a one-night stand? Not that I’m saying no if it is, I’m not saying that, I’m just saying if I’m going to have a broken heart in the morning, I’d like to know it now. I think I should be prepa…” he cuts me off by putting his finger up to my lips. It’s soft.

“You’re rambling,” he says quietly. My eyes kind of latch onto his lips and the way they move when he says this and then close, and then split into that smirk I absolutely adore has made it nearly impossible for me to look into his eyes. But slowly, I tear my gaze away and travel up past his nose into his eyes.

“You said…”

He scrunches up his face. “That kind of slipped out.”

“So you’re not going to…” I try to hide the disappointment in my voice, but I don’t think I do a very good job, because he smirks again.

“We should probably talk about things first.”

“Talk about what?”

“Well, the fact that this isn’t a one-night stand for one thing,” he says, flashing his dimples, shifting my gaze once again. My right hand is still in his, but my left just kind of moves of it’s own accord up to his face, my index finger lightly brushing over it.

“Ok, the rest can wait.”

“Donna. Don’t you think…” I cut him off this time by brushing my lips across his softly. He stares at me a few seconds, then whispers, “You kissed me.”

I nod and feel myself getting even dizzier than I was before. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

He raises his eyebrows and talks a little louder. “A while?”

I shrug but I’m still not completely with it. “You know, a few years.”

His smirk returns. “A few?”

“Six, seven.” I lean in again, this time letting my lips linger.

“Donna,” he groans out against my lips. I feel a jolt of electricity throughout my entire body when he says my name like that and my left hand leaves his cheek and finds it’s way into his hair. But then he pulls back slightly and holds a hand up between us, dropping my right one in the process.

This snaps me out of my little… whatever, and I stare at him. “Donna, we need to talk.”

“What? Now? We have to talk now?” I say incredulously.

He nods. “I think so, yes.”

“You walk in here and announce to the room that you’re going to ravish my body, then instead of doing just that, you want to talk?” My voice is getting a little louder and his eyes widen a bit.

“I told you, that slipped out.”

I put my hands on my hips and stare hard at him. “So you don’t want to ravish my body?”

“Donna, have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror? Of course I want to,” he shrieks.

I hold my arms out on either side of myself. “Well…”

“Donna!” What? Eight years. I’ve been waiting for eight long years for this.

“Joshua, I was promised some ravishing and I want to be ravished. Now ravish me, damn it!” What the hell’s his problem?

“There are things that need to be discussed!” He yells, instead of ravishing me.

“They can be discussed tomorrow,” I yell back.

“We need to be ok when we …ravish.”

I raise my eyebrows. “I think we’ll be more than ok.” There’s no way we won’t be absolutely astounding at this. I just know it.

“Donna!”

“Joshua!”

He takes a deep breath and speaks quieter. “I’m saying…” he motions between us. “We need to be ok.”

“We will be.”

“What if we discuss these things tomorrow and you still hate me?” He asks this in an almost shy voice and it makes me want to wrap him up in my arms. Instead, I take a step forward and take his hand in mine.

“I don’t hate you now, so that’s impossible.”

He links our fingers together. “What if you start hating me?”

“Also impossible.”

“What if….” He looks around the room and then back at me. “I didn’t mean right here.”

“You said ‘the nearest wall.’ I remember that because I began wondering where that was.”

“But….”

I lean into him and whisper, “It’s right behind me, Josh.”

When I pull back, he’s looking at me with what can only be described as lust and smoke in his eyes. “What about…?”

“What about what?”

“I don’t have any… I wasn’t thinking… I’m not…”

“I’m on the pill,” I say, kissing him lightly again. He kisses me back this time, licking my bottom lip and groaning before pulling back and taking a step away from me. What now?

“What about other stuff?”

My eyes get large. “Other stuff?”

He starts waving his arms around. I can’t help smiling; I’ve missed that. “You know, other things to be protected from!”

Well, there goes my smile. I take a step backwards. “Oh God, you slept with Amy again.”

“What?”

“You slept with Amy, didn’t you? That’s why you want to use… you know.” I can’t believe we’re back to this. That’s why he wanted to talk; they’re probably dating! I’m not sleeping with him if he’s dating Amy!

“A condom. You can say the word.”

“You couldn’t,” I snap at him, taking another step backwards.

“I just did,” he counters.

“But you didn’t before.” This is what it’s come down to? Verbally sparing like 5 year olds?

“I was try… wait a minute.” He looks at me like one of us is deranged. “I slept with Amy?”

I shake my head and look at the ground. I refuse to cry over this again. “Why do you keep going back there?” I ask him quietly.

“No! No, I didn’t. I didn’t sleep with Amy.”

I snap my head up. “You didn’t?”

He shakes his head back and forth several times quickly, as if the idea made him physically sick. “No!”

“When she was in New Hampshire working with you guys?”

“No. Not since she worked at the White House.”

And I breathe. What a relief. That was definitely the last thing we nee… wait a minute. “Then why….”

“Why what?”

“Why do you want to use a condom?” I practically scream. Who else has he been with? I know it’s none of my business that he’s been dating, but HE’S BEEN DATING??????

He puts his fingers on the bridge of his nose and squeezes. “Because we haven’t talked. Because you don’t know I haven’t been with Amy or anyone else and I don’t know you haven’t been with…” he stops abruptly.

“With whom?” I ask sternly.

He shrugs and tries to smile but fails. “I don’t know. Whomever you’d be with.”

He thinks I slept with Will. I can’t believe he thinks I slept with Will. Haven’t the past eight years proven I don’t sleep with my boss? “With Will, you mean?”

“You slept with Will?” he screeches.

Ok, maybe he didn’t think that. “No I didn’t sleep with Will. I haven’t slept with anyone in almost a year.”

He takes a deep breath, leaning over and placing his hands on his knees before looking up at me. He might just have had a minor heart attack there. “See, this is why we need to talk.”

“Fine. I’m clean. Are you clean?” Well that just took the romance out of it.

“Yes.”

I nod. “Good, now will you please ravish me before I walk over there and ravish you?” Any more romantic? No?

He stands up abruptly. “You’re going to ravish me?” he says in a voice about two octaves higher than usual.

I smile flirtatiously. “Oh yeah.”

His eyebrows are around his quickly receding hairline. “What about…” now he’s gesturing again. This is kind of fun. “The other stuff we need to talk about.”

”I’m in love with you.” That should settle that.

“What?” Wow, the eyebrows are even higher now. Yes, this is definitely fun. It’d be more fun if we were ravishing each other, but you know…

“You heard me,” I say very calmly.

“You’re in love with me?” he asks doubtfully.

I nod. “Yes.”

He’s quiet for a second and I start walking towards him. I am having sex with Josh Lyman tonight whether he participates or not, damn it. “Are you just saying that so I’ll think we don’t need to talk?”

I look straight at him and answer seriously. “No, I’m saying it so you’ll see that whatever happens when we talk tomorrow will be ok because I love you and always will.”

“Oh…but…”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” I groan.

“What?”

I hold my arms out in utter disbelief. “I tell you I love you and offer you my body and you say ‘but’?”

He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it. Then opens it. Then closes it. Finally, he opens it again. “Good point.”

I take a step towards him. “Yes, I know.”

He takes a step towards me, coming close enough for our chests to touch.  “We still have things to talk about,” he whispers.

“Many, many things.”

“But we should do this first,” he whispers before kissing me. Finally.

When we break apart, I’m breathless. “Right,” I whisper.

“Because you love me,” he says in a low, sexy voice before laying hot open-mouthed kisses on my neck, sucking my earlobe into his mouth.

“Right,” I moan.

He kisses my neck once more then pulls back and looks me in the eye. “And I love you,” he says quietly. My eyes widen, but he smirks and goes back to my neck, this time on the other side, his thumb along with his mouth rubbing light circles on me, hitting that perfect spot behind my right ear.

“Right.” Well, that came out something like a purr. This makes him chuckle against my skin, but I just don’t have the energy to deflate his ego.

I feel his other hand on my hip, and then his fingers on my flesh underneath whatever it is I’m wearing, his fingers dancing up and down my side. “And I said I would ravish you and it wouldn’t be fair of me to renege on that.” At this point, he starts walking me backwards and after several steps, my back hits the wall.

He comes back to my lips and kisses me for what feels like days, his tongue bantering with mine. When we finally part, I somehow get out, “Right,” and that’s the last thing that’s said for a while.