Chapter 2

“I’m hot.”

“You’re fine.”

“It’s crowded in here.”

“You’re fine.”

“I’m bored.”

“You’re fine.”

“I can’t believe I paid for this.”

“You’re fine!” I say through gritted teeth.

He leans over and whispers, “It’s not too late to leave, but we have to go now, before it starts.”

Patience, Donna. Patience. Remember, Josh is a child and needs to be treated like one. “Joshua, I took notes all day. All day. My hand is killing me. You promised. This was a promise you made to me. You said we could have fun.”

“But this isn’t fun.” Great, now he’s whining.

I hang my head. I should’ve left him at the hotel. “It hasn’t even started. You might have fun.” He gives me a ‘yeah, right’ look. “Listen mister,” I say, poking him in the chest. “You got to pick what we’re doing tomorrow. I got to pick tonight. That was the deal.”

“But I picked something fun,” he says not too quietly.

I’m going to scream. “Are you going to complain the entire time?”

He raises his eyebrows and thinks for a few seconds. “Yes.” Well, at least he’s honest.

I nod. “Fine, just remember this conversation when I’m complaining tomorrow.”

“Why would you complain tomorrow?” he asks, flabbergasted.

I stare at him for a second. “Because I’ll have no interest in tomorrow’s activity.” See, I’m just pretending here. I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow. Josh with the smile of an eleven year-old, what’s not to like?

“How can that be?” He can’t even grasp that I might not enjoy tomorrow. It’s as foreign to him as if I’d just announced that I’m a member of the NRA.

“How can you have no interest in this? This is culture, this is beautiful, this is…” I look around in awe. “…art.”

He shrugs. “Because it’s a girly musical and I’m a man.”

I huff at him. “Well, that’s debatable.”

His mouth drops open and when he talks, it’s a borderline screech. “I’ll have you know many, many women have been checking me out tonight,” he says proudly.

“Am I supposed to be impressed?” Maybe I should clarify. Should I be impressed by the sight of him in a tux? Yes. Should I be impressed that other women agree? No, that’s just common sense. Women aren’t idiots; he looks good and they know it.

He smirks. “Well, they certainly are.”

“Would you be impressed if many, many men were checking me out?” Ooooh! Now we’re getting somewhere. Just as I ask him that, a man does indeed check me out. And he’s not bashful or sly about it. He wants me and he wants me to know he wants me. I can’t fault the man; I do look hot. This dress reveals just enough to be sexy without being something Amy would wear. And judging by Josh’s reaction when I answered the door to my hotel room earlier, I’d say he likes it.

“Hey,” he says, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me close to him. “You don’t have to encourage him.”

“I’m just being polite,” I reply innocently, smiling at the man as he passes us. He must notice Josh, because suddenly he looks at the ground and moves along faster. I glance over and see Josh giving him a ‘stay the hell away from my woman’ glare. His eyes follow the man as he walks away and then he notices me scowling.

“What?” he asks with an aura of innocence. “He must’ve lost interest. They’re dimming the lights, let’s go find our seats.”

**********

The house lights come on and Josh jumps out of his seat like he’s been sitting on fire for the last hour and forty-five minutes. “Is it over?”

I try to hide the smile. He’s infuriating, but oh so cute. “Has there been any sort of ending?”

He shrugs. “They just sang.”

I stand up next to him. “They’ve been singing all along.”

“But a lot of them sang this last one.”

We start into the aisle. “And what did they sing about?”

He’s reading through his playbill, and waves dismissively. “I don’t know, love or something.”

“You’re such a romantic,” I say sarcastically.

His head jerks up. “Hey! I can pull out the romance!”

“I’m sure you can,” I say doubtfully.

“I can,” he says louder.

I look up at him and smile, an evil smile. “I just said you could.”

“But you were being sarcastic.”

I nod. “Yes, like you. You know it’s not over. You’re not this…” I gesture towards him.

“Sexy?” No, you are this sexy, in fact.

“Idiotic. You know its only intermission. Let’s go get a drink.”

He raises his eyebrows. “I can drink?”

I link my arm through his. “Sure. You may have one drink.”

We walk into the lobby and I use the restroom while Josh waits in line to get us some wine. When I come back, he’s still in line. Isn’t he paying attention? People are cutting in front of him left and right. I stand back and watch him with a smile on my face as he fiddles with his cell phone until some hussy comes up and starts talking to him. What the hell?

He smiles and starts flashing his dimples and I force myself to take deep breaths until… get your hands off his arms, you little whore. Her brash movements propel me into action.

“There you are,” I say with a voice like sugar, walking up to him. “No wine yet?” I ask with a big smile, turning him towards me and straightening his bowtie.

He looks at the slut and then back at me and his smile turns into a smirk. “Long line. I was just talking with…” he turns to her. “I’m sorry…”

“Tina,” the slut says a bit uneasily.

I finish with his bowtie and graze my hand over his chin before reaching out and shaking her hand. “Tina, I’m Donna. This…” I say, possessively putting my hand on Josh’s chest and leaning in very close to him, “is Josh.”

The look on her face tells me she’s seen the error of her ways. “Nice to meet you. I think it’s…” she points to the bar.

By the time Josh pays for the wine, the slut has slinked away into her cave of slutness. Josh hands me my glass, still smirking. “What?” I ask.

“Oh nothing,” he says victoriously.

I shrug. “She must’ve lost interest.”

He laughs a bit but then something catches his eye. “Shit.”

“What?”

“Senator Harris is coming our way?”

“Oklahoma Harris?”

He looks pointedly at me. “New York Harris.”

I groan. “No.” It’s ‘hands-on’ Harris. This man is a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.

“Senator, hello. What a surprise,” Josh says with a plastic smile in place.

“Josh, what brings you to New York?” he asks, shaking his hand.

“The Caucus.” Like he didn’t know. He was there. Idiot.

“And Donna! Hello,” he says, picking up my hand and kissing it, making me want to dump my wine on him.

“Hello Senator,” I say with a plastic smile of my own, pulling my hand from his grasp somewhat forcefully.

“Did Josh drag you here for his meetings with the Caucus?” he asks me, standing a bit too close for my comfort. It must be too close for Josh’s comfort as well, because he takes a small step between us, giving me reason to take a step back.

“Yes Sir,” I say smiling. Josh looks at me and can tell it’s my ‘you are the creepiest man alive smile.’ He raises his eyebrows, asking if I’m ok and I nod slightly. This is different than it was with the flirting guy earlier. That was jealous Josh, this is protective Josh. I like it when Josh protects me. I can protect myself, but it’s nice to have a guy there to do it, you know what I’m saying?

“You know, Donna. You can always come work for me, if he becomes too much.” Yeah, what he really means is ‘you can always come sleep with me.’

“Thank you Sir, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“That’s a beautiful dress you have on, Donna. You’re the most stunning thing in the room,” he says, touching the thin strap of my dress and then my shoulder. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Josh’s cue.

He puts his hand on my back, glares at him and speaks low and quietly. “If you’ll excuse us Senator, we want to get back to our seats before the second act begins.” He’s polite in his words, but there’s no question as to what he’s actually saying.

The senator straightens a little, a priceless look on his face. “Yes. Well, have a nice weekend.”

“Thank you.” He wraps his arm a little further around my waist than he normally would in front of a member of congress, and we begin walking back towards our seats. “You ok?” he whispers.

“I’m fine,” I say, smiling to both thank him and assure him.

“Fucking bastard. I should’ve kicked his ass,” he says quietly, pulling me even closer to him.

“Yes. Please go back there and fight a senator in public. Ruin the show, your tux, not to mention your career. That’s what I’d like you to do.”

I’m trying to stay casual, but he’s furious. “Senator or not, he doesn’t get to touch you. Not like that.”

“You were there and I’m fine. Just let it go.” He looks at me hard, just to make sure I’m ok I think, then relaxes just a little.

“Fine, I’ll let it go… for now,” he growls out. Good job ‘hands-on’ Harris, now you’re in big trouble.

**********

Josh is staring at me like he’s frightened. He’s kind of dumbly holding a handkerchief for me and looking at me like I’m emotionally unstable. I’m not; it was just sad.  I don’t want to give it away, but let’s just say not everyone makes to the end of Aida alive.

And it’s not like I’m sobbing uncontrollably, flinging myself at him or making horrible sounds, I’m just quietly standing here by my seat with a few tears on my cheek and more pooled in my eyes. “It’s not contagious,” I say a minute later when I can’t take the shifting and avoiding eye contact with me any longer.

“I know,” he says defensively, holding the handkerchief up for me to take it.

He looks so uncomfortable; I can’t help but laugh a little. “You’re very inept at this,” I say when he looks up from his hand to me.

He raises his eyebrows,  “I don’t have much experience. You rarely cry.”

He’s never been around when I watch Steel Magnolias. “What about other women you’ve seen cry?”

“Like who?”

“Josh, surely you’ve dated women who’ve cried at movies or…” I trail off when he looks at me like I’m crazy. “Never?”

He shakes his head.

“Mandy, Amy?”

He shakes his head. “I think they’re missing that thing you need to cry.”

“Tear ducts?” We start walking with the crowd out of the theater.

“A heart.”

I laugh, suddenly not so upset by the musical. How does he do that? “What about other women you’ve dated?”

He shrugs. “They were all like Amy and Mandy.”

“You’re telling me the only women you’ve ever dated were heartless shrews?”

He looks pointedly at me. “You’re one to talk about bad dating choices. They let you support them, let you lie for them…”

“Point taken.”

“I’m just saying, I’m not the only one who sucks at relationships.” At this point, he eyes Senator Harris and starts giving him an evil glare.

“Maybe we should make a pact,” I say jokingly, trying to get him to drop the whole Senator Harris thing. He has no idea how many members of congress he’d have to fight if he fought every one of them who’d ever hit on me. “If we’re not married by the time we’re both 50, we just go ahead and marry each other, end the pain for the rest of the world.”

“We’ll be married before then,” he says distractedly, still looking over at the senator.

“What?” I shriek, causing several people to snap their heads in my direction, including Josh.

He looks at me, confused. “What?”

“You said…” oh shit.

His eyes get huge. “I meant…. uh…”

It gets eerily quiet and I realize we’ve got to find a way to talk ourselves out of this mess. “Separately?” I ask slowly.

“Separately?” Come one Josh; work with me here. “Oh… right,” he finally stutters. “I meant, ‘we’ll each be married before then.”

I nod. “Right. That’s what I thought you meant.” I don’t think that’s what he meant at all.