Chapter 4
This chapter written by mdrgrl1 - send her feedback at mdrgrl1@aol.com
Maybe I'm being foolishly optimistic, but I've always been a "the glass is half full" kind of girl.
It wasn't easy, but I sweet talked my way into my doctor's office for his last appointment of the day. God bless the man for working late hours. Told him I'd name my first born after him if he'd do a quick check-up and renew my birth control prescription. This is of course a lie, seeing as how I'd never curse a child with a name like Lucius.
I'm not certain where my relationship with Josh is headed, but if it goes in the direction I'm hoping, I'd eventually like to have sex without a condom. Not that safe sex is less enjoyable, but there's something about making love with no barrier between us that makes me...happy. So I'll get some blood work done to be on the safe side, and I'll go back on the Pill. I wouldn't want little Lucius to arrive before I'm ready.
I arrive at Josh's place at 7:45 p.m. The first thing that hits me is that I haven't been here in well over a year. I remember spending restless nights on this sofa while Josh was recovering from surgery. I cringe at the thought. Everything looks exactly the same. It even smells the same like leather and coffee and cologne. It's distinctly Josh.
He should be home any minute, so I order Chinese food, then call Twitchy Twyla about my apartment. She's in no rush to move, so I have to lay it down. I give her three weeks to move out. Twyla knew this was coming. I'm even giving her an extra week from what we originally discussed. Of course, I have no idea where I'll stay during those three weeks, but at least I'll have my own apartment back in less than a month.
As I'm ending the call, Josh breezes in. My heart flutters when I see him in his rumpled suit, backpack haphazardly tossed over his left shoulder. I'm glad I'm on the phone; otherwise, my breath would've hitched.
He goes straight into the kitchen. I suspect he's stealing a piece of Kung Pao chicken. I end the call, then walk toward the refrigerator. After the door closes, Josh turns toward me. I have a sudden urge to kiss him. Judging by the way his eyes narrow and he gulps, I know we'll get to the kissing later.
And kiss, we do, but it's so much more than that. Josh spends an inordinate amount of time exploring my body. With every touch, every kiss, it's like he's learning what I enjoy; cataloguing it in the back of his mind. I never knew I had a sensitive spot just below my breasts. I never thought I'd find the sight of Josh kissing my hip bone more erotic than a strip tease. He has me moaning loudly and sighing at every turn. Some of the noises I make surprise me. Josh seems pleased with my reaction, but he's not smug. I'm sure he'll become smug if we continue this, but for now, he seems genuinely content discovering every inch of my body.
I try reciprocating, but Josh doesn't allow me to do much to him. Instead, we have sex in four different positions, two of which make me come. I've never had the pleasure of three orgasms in one night, but Josh finishes me one last time simply by sucking on my nipples.
It surprises me when he gets out of bed. I'm assuming he's going to dispose of the condom, but the last two times we did this the only two times he disposed of it with something next to the bed. I wonder if he leaves so he can put some space between us; if he's giving me this opportunity to collect myself. I pull the covers over my chest and scoot to what I'm assuming is my side of the bed.
We make small talk for a few minutes before I learn that Josh is going to
Instead of dwelling on why Josh didn't tell me about Sam, I give him some pointers on how he might convince Sam to come on board. I'm halfway talking out of my ass, but I think I'm making at least a little sense when it comes to supporting the President-elect.
By the time 11 p.m. rolls around, I can tell Josh is ready to go to sleep. I could use some shut eye as well, so I yawn and stretch my arms over my head. I wish he'd pull me closer. Even if he put his hand on my arm, I'd be content. But we're as far away from each other as we were the first two times. If we continue sleeping together, I'm going to have to talk to Josh about cuddling. Or, you know, show him.
I'm in and out of sleep when the alarm goes off at 5 a.m. I feel Josh kiss me on my temple, and I sigh. It wouldn't take much to rouse me from my half-awaken state and get me to continue where we left off last night.
When Josh goes into the shower, I turn on my side and fall into a deep sleep. I don't remember the last time I've slept this hard.
It isn't until the alarm sounds at 7 a.m. that I wake up to realize Josh has left. I stretch and roll onto his side of the bed. As I take a deep breath, I smell coffee brewing. I smile against his pillow.
*
After a quick lunch with Ronna and Edie, I make my way back to the transition office. We had a lot of catching up to do, but not nearly enough time to do it. When we were campaigning, the three of us always made time to eat one meal a day together. It turned into somewhat of a gab-fest about everything BUT the campaign. I think we all needed those trivial conversations. They kept us from overdosing on politics.
When I walk into the office, I'm greeted by Mrs.
"Hi, Donna." She hands one of the cups to me. "I thought you might like a noontime pick-me-up."
I smile. "Thank you."
"Take a walk with me." She juts her head toward the door.
I put my purse down and follow the future First Lady outside.
"Have you gotten much rest since the election?" she asks, tying a bright pink scarf around her neck.
"Not really, ma'am." I brush a piece of hair behind my ear.
We walk at a slow pace down the sidewalk. It's rather chilly outside, but the sun is warm against my back.
"Neither have I." Mrs. Santos sighs. "I should probably get used to it."
I smile. "Yes, ma'am."
"You did a fine job working with the press during the campaign, Donna." She turns the corner. "And you certainly made a good impression on the staff."
"Thank you. It was a pleasure."
The sun is almost blinding in my eyes. I squint but continue looking at Mrs. Santos.
"There's also the added bonus of you knowing how to handle Josh."
I reply with my standard line. "I worked with him for almost nine years."
She shakes her head. "God bless you."
I chuckle. "It wasn't that bad."
"Josh is a good man." Her face softens. "And he has faith in my husband. That goes a long way."
I give her an appreciative smile.
She stops next to a row of cherry blossoms that have already lost their leaves. "How would you feel about working for me?"
My eyebrows are surely near my hairline. "Working for you?"
She nods. "I need a Chief of Staff. I'd like it to be you."
I am blown away. I feel heat rising from my chest to my face. I move my mouth to speak, but no words come out.
"I don't need an answer today," she continues. "But you're my first choice. I wanted you to know that."
My hand flies to my chest. "I'm honored."
Mrs. Santos smiles. "I'm going to
"Thank you," I reply not quite knowing what else to say.
I never would've expected such an offer. I thought I'd possibly qualify for a deputy position of some sort, but Chief of Staff for the First Lady? That one wasn't even on my radar.
We walk in silence for a few minutes, heading back to the office. I'm startled when Mrs. Santos speaks again.
"So," she says, looking at the pavement. "What's going on with Lester and Edie?"
I'm grateful for her easy tone.
"Is there something going on?" I ask, hoping she can't see straight through me.
I'd really enjoy getting Mrs. Santos' take on the campaign flings.
"I'm a pretty observant woman," she says with a sly grin. "I notice these things."
I gulp.
Judging by the slight tilt of her head and the wide grin on her face, she knows there's something going on between Josh and me. I am this close to spilling my guts and telling her how confused I am. Asking her how she's held on to the man she loves when his life is dedicated to politics. Then I think better of it. She's not in the same position as I am. She's married with two children. Her husband has proven time and again that he's committed to his family. They come first even if it is a close call.
I don't have to ask Josh what comes first. Politics has been his life for almost 20 years. No woman has even come close to competing with that.
"How do you do it?" I didn't mean to ask that question out loud.
Mrs. Santos looks a bit confused. "Do what?"
Might as well go for it since I opened the bag. "Maintain a healthy relationship while your husband dedicates his life to serving the country."
She lets out an incredulous chuckle. "Healthy?"
I smile, knowing that she understands what a personal life consists of in the political world.
"We never stop communicating." She shrugs and looks pensive as if this is the first time she's really considered it. "Matt and I have our disagreements, believe me, but we talk about what's bothering us. We have meaningful conversations even if we have limited time."
I lower my head. "Sometimes it seems impossible."
She purses her lips. "I know."
Working for this woman would be an honor. In fact, there is no other position on the staff that I want more than this. But if Josh chooses politics over me, I'm not sure I want to be involved at all in the
***
The last time I was in a shopping mall was a year ago at Christmas. However, I need a tube of Clinique Antioxidant Rescue Serum and a new pair of black pumps. The heel is dangerously close to breaking off of my Via Spiga's.
Margaret and I have a quick dinner in the food court of all places. She brought the baby with her, so while we're able to talk about surface-level stuff, we aren't able to delve into what's happening in our lives. The most serious part of our conversation is about losing Leo. At one point, Margaret has to wipe her eyes. We make a pact to have dinner together without the baby and in a real restaurant next week.
The mall closes at nine, but there's a coffee shop across the street that stays open late. I contemplate going back to Josh's apartment, but it feels weird there without him; like I'm intruding. I probably shouldn't feel that way, considering how firm he was about my staying over tonight.
I order a chai latte and sit at a corner table, thinking of how to tell Josh about my conversation with Mrs. Santos. He sprung the Sam thing on me last night, so I'll just spring the First Lady's thing on him tonight.
There are a few ways Josh could react. He might be upset, hurt, confused, or shocked. Or he might think that this is the perfect solution. We could both work for the
I despise the thought of giving up my career for a man, even if it's Josh. And that's what I'd be doing. I couldn't ask Josh to quit just to be with me. He's responsible for getting Matt Santos elected. It would make much more sense for me to walk away quietly. I could get a job as a legislative liaison or a lobbyist. Sasha Vargas called me two days ago to be her spokesperson. But I don't want to work any place else. I'd rather serve my country than make six figures. Ok, I'd like to make six figures while serving my country, but that isn't going to happen.
The couple sitting across from me catches my attention. The woman is reading a book, while the man has his hand on her thigh. He's glancing at the newspaper, but I can tell he's having trouble concentrating. He keeps looking up at her. She takes a sip of coffee, then licks her lips. The man smiles and the woman stares at him. She leans forward, kissing him softly on the lips. Public displays of affection usually nauseate me, but this is different. It's sweet and innocent and exciting.
I never thought that watching two strangers in a coffee shop would give me insight into what I want with Josh.
That.
I want that.
I want Josh's hand on my leg while I read about literacy programs in
Taking the last sip of my chai latte, I decide to head to Josh's apartment before he gets home. I might even surprise him with the matching bra and panties I bought from
As I'm about to stick my key in the lock, Josh opens the door.
I smile. "You're back."
"I am," he says, holding the door open and stepping to the side.
"You missed quite a day." I sigh.
He runs a hand through his hair. "Unless the world's falling down, I dont want to talk about it."
I take a step toward him and smile seductively. "Who said anything about talking?"
Within seconds, my lips are fused against Josh's. We kiss so hard, so desperately, that our teeth scrape against each other. He tastes like peanuts and ginger ale. Josh puts his hands on my shoulders, pushing my jacket down my arms while kicking the door closed behind us. He backs me up until my butt hits the sofa. My purse drops to the floor and Josh's mouth drops to my neck.
"Mmm, Josh," I moan.
"I thought you said no talking?" He continues kissing my neck and chest.
I unbutton Josh's shirt, untucking it along the way. "That wasn't an actual sentence."
He runs a hand under my blouse, making his way to my breast. "Are we really going to discuss sentence structure right now?"
"No," I reply, pulling his head back up so I can kiss him again.
The sex we have this time around is more like the first two times. It's frantic and hot. We can't get close enough to one another. It seems that Josh wants to pleasure me as much as I want to pleasure him. I figure he had his turn last night, although that was much different than what we're doing now. So I massage his back and work my way down to his perfect ass. I spend some time fondling his balls until he warns me that one more touch might send him over the edge.
Josh reaches for a condom, and I almost stop him. I don't want to use one. However, now might not be the best time to tell him that I went to my doctor's office and got a clean bill of health. While I'm sure he'd be happy about that and the fact that I'm back on the Pill, it would be a real mood killer. So he slips the condom on and enters me quickly. All it takes is five pumps before I'm lost. Josh must come at about the same time, but I'm so overwhelmed by this sensation deep within me that I can't really tell.
"Wow," he pants, rolling off of me but keeping one arm under my pillow.
"Yes," I reply, breathing just as heavily. "I could use some water."
Josh reaches over to the nightstand and grabs the glass that we drank out of last night. I don't care how long the water has been sitting there, I'm parched. I take a long swig, then hand it to Josh, who finishes it in two gulps.
He sets the glass back on the nightstand, then turns on his side away from me. I hear the rubber snap. He didn't go to the bathroom to dispose of the condom this time. As soon as he's done, Josh rolls over and puts his arms around me. He has never done this before or after sex. He nuzzles his head against my neck and sighs. This feels so damn good.
"How's Sam?" I ask.
"Good." He sighs. "Probably too good."
I turn my head, causing him to look up. " What do you mean?"
Josh rests his head next to mine. "He's a junior partner at his law firm, and he's engaged."
"Wow," I reply. "Does that mean he turned down the position?"
He shrugs. "He said he'd think about it, but I'm not counting on him."
"I'm sorry, Josh."
"Me, too." He uses his thumb to make little circles on the skin just below my belly button. "I was thinking..."
I turn my head toward him. "Yeah?"
He removes the arm that was under me and props his head up on his hand. "You did a nice job as spokesperson during the campaign, and I think you'd be a great "
"No," I blurt out.
His forehead creases. "I was just going to offer you "
"I can't."
"You can't what?" He takes his other hand off of my body.
Now we're not touching at all.
"I need to tell you about a conversation I had today," I say.
Josh pushes his body slightly away from me. I wonder if it's so he can get a better view of my face or if he's afraid of what I'm about to say.
"A conversation with whom?" He raises his eyebrows.
"Mrs. Santos."
"Mrs. Santos?" he asks. "Helen Santos?"
"She wants me to be her chief of staff." I swallow hard, waiting for his reaction.
Josh blinks a few times and opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.
"She told me I'd be good for the job," I begin, nervously balling the sheets into my fist. "Apparently, I'm her first choice."
Josh looks down, then back up at me. "Is that something you'd want to do?"
"It would be an honor." I give him a nervous smile. "Though it's not something I would've thought I was qualified for."
"You're qualified to do a lot of things, Donna." He puts his hand back on my stomach.
Although I've since covered myself with the sheet, the warmth of Josh's hand sends a wave of heat throughout my body. "You really think so?"
His face slowly breaks into a smile. "Yeah. I do."
I lean over and kiss him gently on the lips. When I pull back, I'm dangerously close to telling him three words that would make or break our relationship. Instead, I kiss him again with a little more fervor.
We fall asleep in each other's arms, and when I wake up, I'm tangled up in Josh.