Rating: PG
Summary: Josh tells Emily a bedtime story that he should know well.
Author's Notes: So, this is the first story in Emily's World. These are stand-alone stories all about the 5 year-old daughter of Josh and Donna.
“Tell me a story.”
“Tell me a story, what?”
“Tell me a story, please,” she says with a big smile and those huge blue eyes staring up at me.
“Well, I don’t know too many stories. Do you want to hear the one about the big bad republicans?”
She ponders this for a minute. “No, I want to hear the Princess Donnatella story.”
“The Princess Donnatella story?”
“The one Mommy tells me.”
“Mommy tells you a story about Princess Donnatella?” I’m gonna have to remember to call her that later; maybe we can do a little role-playing.
“Yes. There’s a brutiful lady named Donnatella and a hamson prince named Joshua and they work in a big white castle.”
“Oh, the Princess Donnatella story. Of course; I know that one.”
“Tell it to me please.”
“It’s past your bedtime.”
“Please Daddy. Mommy’s not home and you’re the best Daddy in the whole world. We don’t have to tell her. Please!!!!!!!!!!” She’s smiling, and her dimples are out in full force.
“Emily, I can’t keep secrets from Mommy. Emily… what are you doing? Do not pout. No pouting. Did your mother teach you that?”
“Daddy, I was playing with Billy today and he said his daddy was a stupid-head, but I told him that my daddy was cool and he got all the democrats their jobs. Please be cool Daddy.”
I sigh. I am so whipped. “Ok. But then you go straight to sleep. Deal?”
“Can I have a cookie too?”
“Don’t push your luck.”
“I’m not pushing my luck, I’m negoshiting.”
“Well, I can’t fault you for doing that, but it’s negotiating.”
“Ok, let’s negotiate now. Stories are better with cookies.”
“It’s too late for cookies.”
“Yes, and Mommy would say no. But… you’re not Mommy, you’re Daddy and you’re cool and I’ll give you two extra kisses before bed for two cookies.”
I nod. “I’m impressed. Three extra kisses and 1 cookie.”
“Two cookies, two extra kisses, and I’ll draw you a picture tomorrow at day care.”
“Deal.” We shake on it.
“Milk too, please,” she calls out as I walk into the kitchen.
**********
“Ok, how does this story start?” I ask as I hand her one cookie and a small glass of milk.
She takes a bite and says, “Daddy, all stories start out the same. Once upon a time…”
“Right, of course. Once upon a time there was a princess named Donnatella and a handsome, not hamson, prince named Joshua.”
“At the beginning she’s not a princess. She’s just a brutiful lady.”
“Right, sorry. Once upon a time there was a beautiful lady named Donnatella and a handsome prince named Joshua. And they worked in a big white castle. The work in the castle was very hard, but very fun, and the lady and the prince spent lots of time together making the world a better place for all the people.”
“And the prince wore glasses.”
“What?” I am the prince, right?
“The prince wore magic glasses.”
“The prince did not wear glasses.”
“Yes he did. They were magic glasses. That’s why he couldn't see that he was in love with the lady.”
“No, that’s wrong. The prince knew he was in love with the lady. He always knew that.”
“That’s not how Mommy tells the story.”
“Mommy’s wrong.”
“Daddy!! Mommy’s never wrong. She said so.”
Yeah, right. “Well, this one time, Mommy is wrong. He did wear magic glasses, but they were so the lady didin't know he was in love with her. He knew he was in love, but it was a secret.”
“Why?”
“Because of the important work they did in the big white castle. He couldn't tell anyone that he loved her or he’d get in big trouble.”
“Why?”
“Because of the republicans!” Duh.
“Daddy, there are no republicans in this story.”
“Of course there are, there are republicans in every story.”
“We have princes and kings and court jesters. No republicans.”
I think for a minute. “Fine. Prince Joshua couldn't tell lady Donnatella that he loved her because the dragons would take her away if he did.”
“Dragons?”
“Yes, all kingdoms have dragons. And the prince’s most important job in the world was to protect Lady Donnatella from the dragons. That’s why he wore magic glasses, so no one knew that he loved her.”
“But he knows?”
“Yes, that’s the part Mommy’s wrong about.”
She looks at me skeptically. My own daughter doesn’t believe me. “Ok, that’s alright I guess. Let’s move onto the wicked witch.”
“The wicked witch?”
“Witch Amy, who tried to steal the prince’s love.”
Amy the witch, I guess. “Well, first we have to talk about the mean dragons who tried to… turn the lady into a dragon.”
Her mouth drops open in shock. “They can do that?”
I nod. “I’ve seen it done, it’s a sad, sad thing.”
“Ok, you better tell me. Mommy leaves that part out.”
I’m not surprised. “See, there were several dragons who loved Lady Donnatella, so they tried to turn her into a dragon so she would love them too. And Prince Joshua had to save her from all of them. In fact, that’s how they met. One dragon was being mean to Lady Donnatella. He made her do lots of things for him, he even made her cook.”
“Cook?”
“I know; can you believe it? Lady Donnatella didn’t want to cook for Dragon Freeride, so she tried to run away. And Prince Joshua saw her running and took her to the big white castle and let her stay there. That’s how they met.”
“That’s not what Mommy says.”
“It’s not?”
“No. She says that Lady Donnatella was beclothed to a thief, and that she….”
“Betrothed.”
“That’s what I said. Anyway, she was beclothed to a thief and she decided that she was too good to be anyone’s lackey, so she went to the big white castle to see if anyone needed help to save the world and Prince Joshua was trying to save the world, but he was helpless, so she decided to help him and that’s how they met and they saved the world together.”
“Helpless? She called him helpless?”
“Yes,” she says, nodding.
“Well, I remember the story a little differently than that, but let’s move on.”
“Can I have my second cookie now?” She has really developed her mother’s sweet way of getting what she wants.
“Yes.” I hand her a cookie. “So, the next dragon to try to turn her into a dragon was named Cliff.”
“Was he mean and ugly?”
“All dragons are mean and ugly. But this one was short too. He was mean and ugly and short. And he tricked Lady Donnatella by acting like a nice dragon.”
“Dragon’s aren’t nice are they?”
“No, remember that. No dragons are nice.”
“Ok, Daddy,” she says with a smile.
“So, Dragon Cliff tricked Lady Donnatella and then threatened to put her in the dungeon if she didn’t turn into a dragon and marry him.”
“Really?”
“Yes. But Prince Joshua rescued her.”
“Good. How?”
“He slayed him with a sword, that’s how!”
“Really?” Her eyes get huge and she’s smiling. “Is Prince Joshua brave?”
“Of course he is. Doesn’t Mommy say that he’s brave?”
She cocks her head to one side. “No, not really.”
“Well, he is. And he’s strong too.”
“So, is that when he told Lady Donnatella that he loved her?”
I shake my head and sigh. “No. That’s when he should have told her, but he was very mad at her.”
“Why? Lady Donnatella is wonderful!”
I guess we all know who’s been telling this story. “Because he loved her and he thought she loved Dragon Cliff, and that made him sad.”
“So what did he do?”
“Well, that’s when the wicked witch came to the big white castle.”
“Wicked Witch Amy?”
“Yes,” I say in my spooky voice. It comes naturally when you’re a father.
“And she was green and ugly and had smelly feet and a pointy nose and talked without opening her mouth and rode around on a broomstick and she was mean to Lady Donnatella, and she cast a spell over Prince Joshua?” She got faster and faster as she went along there.
“Umm, ok.”
“And the spell lasted for a long, long time?”
“You’re mother really elaborates on this part, doesn’t she?”
“I don’t know what that means,” she says innocently.
“Well, never mind. Yes, the wicked witch cast a spell on the prince for a long, long time.”
“And he was mean to Lady Donnatella,” she says, kind of sad.
“He was?” I was?
“Yes,” she says seriously. “He didn’t fight with her, and she missed the fighting because it was really just play fighting.”
“Well, Prince Joshua was under a spell. He didn’t mean to be mean to Lady Donnatella.”
“It’s a good thing she saved him then.”
“She saved him?” Where did this come from?
She looks at me like I’m an idiot but she loves me anyway. Another trait she got from Lady Donnatella. “Yes. I thought you knew this story.”
“Well… I do, but I thought Prince Joshua saved himself.”
“No.”
“No?”
“No. Lady Donnatella stayed right there the whole time. And she prayed and she prayed and even when Prince Joshua was mean she didn’t leave. And when he fought the witch, she always rooted for him, even when he didn’t know it. Mommy says that sometimes the only way to save a Prince is to be there to pick him up when he falls down.”
“Well, Lady Donnatella definitely did that a lot. And then one day, the king sent the wicked witch away and they never had to see her again.”
“And they lived happily ever after?”
“No. First, there was Dragon Jack.”
“Dragon Jack?”
“Yes. Dragon Jack, who pretended to be a prince.”
“He did?”
“Yes. He had fancy clothes and a sword and he worked in the big white castle too.”
“But he was a dragon?”
“Yes, but he wore a disguise.” Her mouth opens wide and she stares at me. “And he told Lady Donnatella that she was wonderful and pretty and that he loved her.”
“Did she believe him?” She’s shocked.
“Yes she did. And then he told a lie.”
She opens her mouth even wider and puts her hand over it. “Uh oh. Lie’s are bad.”
“Yes, they are. See, Dragon Jack said some mean things about the king, but he told everyone that Lady Donnatella said the bad things.”
“But Lady Donnatella liked the king. She thought he was a wonderful king.”
“He was a wonderful king. But Dragon Jack didn’t like him.”
“Because he was a dragon and the king was a person?”
“Yes, and dragons are bad and democrats are good.”
“Right!”
“That’s my girl.”
She gives me a hug. “Can I have another cookie?”
“Sure,” I say and hand her a cookie. “So, Dragon Jack lied and everyone was mad at Lady Donnatella because they thought she said bad things about the king.”
“Did Prince Joshua save her?”
“Yes, but don’t talk with your mouth full.”
“Sorry.”
“That’s ok. See, Prince Joshua knew that Lady Donnatella liked the king. And he figured out that it was Dragon Jack who said the bad things, and then they sent him off to a far away land and told him he could never come back.”
“And that’s when he told Lady Donnatella that he loved her?”
“Yes. There was a ball for the king because he and Prince Joshua slayed all the dragons. And Lady Donnatella looked beautiful and Prince Joshua told her he loved her.”
“You forgot about the horse and carriage.”
“The horse and carriage?”
“When Prince Joshua came to get her and he brought a horse and carriage and gave her his coat to wear because it was cold and he told her she looked like an amazon.”
“An amazon?”
“Amazoning?”
“Amazing?”
“Yes, that sounds better.”
“Yes. And yes, he did all those things that a prince does. And then he took her to the ball and told her he loved her.”
“And then they got married.”
“Well, first Prince Joshua had to do a lot of begging.”
“Why?”
“Because Lady Donnatella was playing hard to get.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, Prince Joshua told Lady Donnatella that he loved her and she gave him a kiss.” She gets a look of disgust on her face. Let’s hope that continues for at least another fifteen years. “On the cheek, of course.”
“Oh, ok.”
“But then she visited with Claudia…”
“The good witch.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Well, that depends on who you ask. But, Lady Donnatella and Claudia decided that Prince Joshua needed to woo Lady Donnatella.”
“What’s woo?”
“Well, that’s a good question. See Em, someday a prince is going to come along for you.”
“I don’t want to marry a prince. I just want to stay your little girl.”
That’s my girl! “That’s because you’re very smart.”
“Thank you, can I have a cookie?”
“Sure. Anyway, when princes try to win the heart of a lady, the lady wants him to prove that he loves her.”
“How?”
“Well, sometimes the prince buys her flowers. Or takes her to dinner. Sometimes, he even lets her leave work at five o’clock.”
“On a weekday?”
“Sometimes,” I say, shaking my head. “If the prince loves her, he’ll do almost anything she asks, and that is called wooing.”
“So Lady Donnatella made Prince Joshua woo her?”
“Yes. But he didn’t mind, because he loved her.”
“And after he wooed her they got married.”
“Yes. He wooed her and they got married.”
“On a hill overlooking the ocean.”
“Yes, on a hill overlooking the ocean.”
“And Prince Joshua wore a tux and Lady Donnatella thought he looked hamson.”
“Handsome, yes.”
“And he thought Lady Donnatella looked brutiful.” I nod. “And then, they went back to the big white castle and kept saving the world.”
“Yes. But then it was time for a new king, so Prince Joshua and Lady Donnatella went to work someplace else.”
“It’s Princess Donnatella now, and they went to work at the small white castle.”
“Yes, they went to work at the small white castle, where they are trying to get Prince Sam ready to be a king.”
“And then they had Princess Emily.”
“That’s correct. They had Princess Emily who has now had four cookies instead of two.”
“I have?” she asks innocently.
“Yes, you have.”
“She has?” I whip my head around to see my wife glaring at us from the doorway to Emily’s room.
“Umm…”
“Daddy said I could have cookies. I told him you would say no, but he said I could have them.”
“Uhhh…” My daughter has sold me out.
Donna points to the bathroom connected to Emily’s room. “But Mommy, I already brushed my teeth tonight.”
“Well, when you and Daddy were negotiating cookies, he should have mentioned that you’d have to re-brush your teeth.”
“Daddy, you didn’t tell me that,” she pouts as she stomps off into the bathroom.
“Sorry, kiddo.” Wait, I’m supposed to be sorry. She conned me into two cookies and a story I didn’t even know, then got two extra cookies out of the deal, which only means I’m in trouble, and I’m supposed to be sorry?
“So, you gave our five year old daughter four cookies before bed, when she’s only allowed two per day?”
I kiss her on the cheek. “Good evening Princess Donnatella.”
"And what did you get out of the deal?"
"Two extra goodnight kisses and a picture," I say, looking a little guilty.
She looks at me and tries not to smile, but she’s caving. “Mommy,” Emily says, coming out of the bathroom a minute later. “You’ve been leaving parts out of the Princess Donnatella story.”
Donna raises her eyebrows at me. “Really, and what exactly have I been leaving out?” she asks as she tucks Emily into bed.
“The dragons. They’re mean and ugly and they don’t like the king.”
“Josh,” she whispers, looking at me. “Not all stories have republicans.”